A Tale of Two Turkeys

Ahhhh...the Tradition of running all over three states for the Thanksgiving Holiday had to be given up this year.

With Great New Job, comes the fact that I had to work on Friday after Thanksgiving.

So , no travelling.

My parents, both being sick, didn't come in.

My inlaws...well....nevermind.

So it was going to be a Dinner for Three.

I voted to go out to dinner.

The Husband voted to order dinner.

Kiddo wanted to 'do it right Mom'.

Which meant Biggest Turkey Ever, corn, rolls, carrots, and pies.

Here's the kicker...Kiddo has NEVER eaten the Traditional Meal.  Ever.

Last year, I had to stop at Waffle House in North Carolina and feed him.  He literally had not eaten for three days because he refused all the Traditional stuff.

I knew in my heart he wasn't going to go for this...but maybe, just maybe if we took him shopping he would be into it.

Off to the grocery store we go...armed with coupons and savings.

Kiddo promptly picked out a 22 lb turkey.

Yes, TWENTY TWO POUNDS.

No amount of convincing or talking would get him to give up on The Biggest Turkey Ever.

So we put Big Bird in the cart, and trolled around for the rest of the fixings.

The Husband and I kept eye balling each other sidewise, and like the team that we are, without saying a word, he picked up Kiddo as we were nearing the end of the store to take him to the salad bar to get a 'snack'. 

Wink Wink  Nudge Nudge.

I hoofed it back to the Freezer section as fast as I could fly.  I dodged down the aisle when I heard his voice pipe up.

I hoisted Big Bird out of the cart and flopped him back into the bin.

I mashed my pinky finger in the process.

I frantically rooted for the Smallest Turkey Ever. 

I settled for a 12 lb'r.

I raced back to the check out.

I informed the clerk to ring the Bird up first and stuff it quickly into the canvas shopping bag.

NOW!  Here they come!

Operation Turkey Switch was a success.

Kiddo talks about eating the turkey leg...the big slices of the turkey...and all the fixins.

Thanksgiving Day dawns...the Bird is being prepped for the oven. 

Kiddo admires my handiwork...watches it all day...ohhhhs and ahhhhs when I take it out of the oven.

I'm so proud to lay the thick slices on his plate with the pretty sides I've labored over all morning.

We say Grace...three times.  Three different ways. 

And Kiddo proceeds to ....

EAT.  NONE. OF. IT.

He had corn, carrots and a roll.

*Sigh* 

Next year, we are hitting Golden Corral.

Pain

Today I established as a New Patient with the Awesome Doctor I work for. 

It was odd to say the least...to be the patient.

I did most of my paperwork early on...had my prescriptions loaded in, along with getting information from the specialists I have seen over the years.

Awesome Doctor reviewed them as they came in...my Breast Biopsy and Breast Cyst Saga...my Cervical Stenosis from Hell...the Allergy Testing I had done last year...and my round with Shingles this spring.

It was interesting to read up on the different ailments and their outcomes. 

I did realize something...I'm really pretty luck.  I'm not suffering from High Blood Pressure, or Diabetes.   I'm overweight, but I am no obese.

Most of my problems are pain and joint related...in some form or fashion.

And as we chatted, I realized I am in Pain such a large amount of time that I don't remember what it is like to NOT hurt.

I have Fibromyalgia as my base pain.  So in other words, I hurt all over pretty much all of the stinking time.  I was not diagnosed until 1999, and even then I had a hard time getting a doctor to listen to me.  I was in such misery, and sure I was dying from some unknown tropical disease.  I had one physician tell me to just 'get over it'. Yeah, sure.  Let me get right on that.  I tried anti depressants...and pain medications.  They didn't work very well for me at all.  I had to finally figure out that it wasn't going to kill me...and I had to learn to cope.  And cope I have.

Then you add in herniated C-5, 6 and 7 in my neck.  Turn the wrong way too fast folks, and I am DONE.  As my Neuro put in his notes "stuck in the neutral position".  I remember that well...I wanted to throw up from the pain, but I don't think I could have bent my head to do so.  I still live in fear of that moment again...I won't even get on a roller coaster...ever again.

Now I have come kind of weird pain in my left knee and ankle.  They hurt.  Not every day...but mainly when I am ovulating.  Excruciating!  I know!  Go freaking figure!  She flexed my foot and pushed on it...then my toes turned blue.  I know! (again!) Weird. 

Honestly, I was just hoping my feet didn't stink and my stubble on my legs weren't showing too badly.

All in all it was a good visit.  I'm glad I did the establishment.  It was good to kind of spell it out all for someone so that they have the full story in front of them.

So I now have in hand some lab work paperwork, and xray orders.  Gonna see what this next round of joint pain is all about.

I'd love a massage right now.

Twizzler Snitch

I love Halloween.

I adoooore Halloween.

I absolutely love the fact that Halloween is so much fun, and such a guilt free Holiday.  As I have stated before, no one gives you grief over spending too much time at the in laws on Halloween, or eating their Special Halloween Dinner and not Theirs.

Kiddo has such a good time.  He plans it out well in advance...say March.

This year was no different. 

This year we are allowed to dress up at work.  Some employees go all out, some are simple.  My Doctor (whom I love) and I are trying to coordinate.  Contemplating my costume was a task within itself.  I needed something that didn't show my bosom or ass.  So that took out most costumes on the market now.

Then I needed something I could work in.  So that takes out another huge portion of available costumes. 

I'm irritated. 

Till The Husband points out my red scrubs...and a pair of devil horns.

THIS is the reason I keep him around folks.

My Doctor agrees to small angel wings and a little blinking Halo. 

I think I may have offended a patient or two...and was called a 'horny devil' in Target by a guy that I am not sure if he was or was no in costume.  I think he just looked like a scary pervert on a daily basis.

Trick or Treat time at the house!  Rush home...throw some hot dogs in...run Kiddo to the Neighbor Who Hates Halloween's House so she can dump an entire bag of fun size M&M's in his bucket...then lock up her house and leave for a few hours...

And the Trick or Treaters began.

First set...at 6pm...Batgirl...SuperMario and a teenager dressed as a prostitute (I think it was a witch...but I am not sure) and Mom.

I give them goodies...the little girl exclaims over my Twizzlers...awwwww she's cute!  So I hand her more.

An hour later, we have a lull, I'll take Kiddo to a few houses.

Hit another neighbor, round the corner...hit another neighbor...

Then we get to The House.

At The House...the Prostitute Witch is in the car in the driveway putting makeup on her boyfriend.

I walk past...to their well lit porch with well lit decorations and pumpkins.

Kiddo rings their doorbell.

And it is answered by The Mom...who then proclaims to my five year old child..."Oh, I'm sorry sweetie...we aren't giving out candy!"

To which I replied... "Your light is on".

"It's on a sensor...I need to shut it off"

"Yeah, you do...you're going to get your doorbell rung all night...come on Kiddo"

We turn to go, and I see Batgirl standing in the doorway...eating a Twizzler.

Kiddo busts out with 'She got that at our house!'

My loud reply was thus "Some people just have no manners baby...they take from you but won't reach into their own bucket to give any back.  Have a good night!"

Some people just need their house toilet papered.