Happy to Report...

I passed my Medical Assistant Certification Test!

Not only did pass the test....I scored a 90!

The first twenty questions had be nearly convinced I was taking the wrong test.  There was so much on phlebotomy.  I was ready to raise my hand and make sure I was logged in for the correct test when it flipped over to the ONE EKG question. 

I was shaking like a leaf the whole time.  I focused in and accomplished it though...I am so proud of that.

Big kuddos out to The Husband for taking Kiddo out every single night that week to poke him full of ice cream, trips to Books a Million, and various other activities.  This meant Kiddo was wired up every evening and didn't go to bed until nearly 10p every night, but I got some good quiet study time in!

I am CERTIFIED!  YAY!

I also turned in my two weeks notice.  They offered me a pay raise and didn't deduct the three and a half hours out of my paycheck where I was out for my test. 

I stood my ground, even though I felt a twinge of sympathy and guilt, and stuck with my 'this is a great opportunity' speech. 

I leave on Thursday this week.

As I keep reminding them.

I am NOT working another Friday like yesterday.  About an hour in, I was clearly reminded as to WHY I am leaving.  Once again, I packed up my stethoscope yesterday in hopes I grow a perfectly large set of cajones this weekend and don't show up on Monday.

But I am nicer than that.  I'll go in...and cuss all day in my head.

I couldn't hear myself think, I couldn't think, and I wanted to hurl a clipboard at a co worker because she wouldn't answer the fucking phone...kept acting like she didn't hear it.

I've bought my binders and page protectors for my new job.  I'll have lists of passwords, resources and notes organized.  There will be no more sifting through post it notes taped randomly on a wall.

I hate random notes taped to a wall.

Sometimes You have to Suck it Up for a While

My new doctors office leaves a LOT to be desired.

They are cluttered.

I hate clutter.

They are stupid crazy unbelievably crazy busy.

Busy is fine...but every day I feel like I am on the fucking floor at the Stock Exchange...slinging charts and post its around.  Yelling across each other to find this blood work, that urine, this CT, that XRay.

There is NO Structure.  And the employees don't seem to mind.  They work in a tornado...

I absolutely cannot stand it.

I send The Husband at least one text a day lamenting my desire to quit, run away, and never go there again.

I haven't even asked for a key.

Because I really don't want one.  I don't want to have the ability to go in early...or on the weekend.

I don't CARE anymore.

I want to leap across the desk and yell at patients for being assholes.

I want to sling charts straight up in the air and tell everyone to pretty much suck it.

But I haven't.

I've managed my southern charm and professional ways.

And I landed a brand new job.

I turn my resignation in to Hell Job on Friday.

I'm hoping they tell me to just leave.  I want to mail the letter tomorrow and say Fuck It.  But...I'll be professional and not throw gasoline on the bridge I soooo want to set on fire.

I start my New Job in August.  With a new doc, in a structured corporate group practice...with rules, and no clutter.

Imagine that...No Clutter.  A dedicated Front Desk and Billing Department.  I don't have to tell people what their balances are or get yelled at.

Sometimes you just have to suck it up for a while.

And the big benefit, I get two weeks vacation, a year...starting NOW.  Not January 2014 as is my new company policy.

Yes, you read that right.  And by the way, it was only ONE WEEK in 2014.  I had to wait unitl 2015 for two weeks.

And....I got a 20 cent on the hour raise!

I did the Happy Butt Dance in the driveway...

Summer Time

Just some pics from our summer so far...

Kiddo's Costume Interpretation of Spiderman.

Yes my friends...that IS underwear as Spiderman's mask.

Riding a Bike!  When did Kiddo grow up?!

Very first School Bus Ride.  It was a shuttle to the Patriotic Festival at Virginia Beach, but he didnt' care...he was on a bus.

Virginia Beach...right before she knocked him over, rolled him around, threw him out on the sand, and rolled him again.  He never lost the hat. But he refused to go near the water for about three hours.

Blue Angels Rock

Cape Hatteras National Seashore.  Yay for being able to drive out and 'set up camp' for the day.  Boo for the new $120 fee to drive out and 'set up camp' for the year.

SuperMan Monster Truck while stopping to see Grave Digger

My little Archer!  Quiver is a paper towel roller wrapped in Army Duct Tape.  He's pretty damn good if I do say so myself.  He managed to lose Bow Privileges for a week because he was shooting at the TV.

Iron Man.  Bicycle helmet and Lightning McQueen Headlamp

First Fireworks/Concert.  He yelled 'Awesome' the whole time.

Beginning of the Most Miserable Heat Wave EVER

Continuation of Most Miserable Heat Wave EVER

My Kiddo.  He's pretty awesome.

I can't see when I do this...

Yesterday was Kiddo's first trip to the Eye Doctor.

I've talked it up for a week...trying to prep him.

There are no shots at the Eye Doctor.

There are no blood pressure cuffs at the Eye Doctor.

They don't take blood at the Eye Doctor.

The Eye Doctor is super cool.

He wasn't buying it...at all.

A Freak Out occured on the way to the Eye Doctor...a total Melt Down getting out of the car occured in the One Thousand Degree Heat Wave Infused parking lot.

But, by the time we got in there, things had simmered down, and Kiddo was more interested in all the gears and gadgets the Eye Doctor had.

The Husband went first...since his Eye Exam consists of 'read the bottom line' 'look at this light' 'everything looks good'.  Only this time, one small snag.  He has to go back for dilation at the end of this month because his retina is thinning.  Very common, but the Eye Doctor wants to check it.

Kiddo hops right into the big chair and reads his letters...lets the Eye Doctor shine the lights...follows the pen...and even manages to do the depth perception and color blindness tests with ease.

No screaming, no fighting...no fits of any kind.

It was a Heat Wave Miracle!

You don't know how relieved I was.

You see...when I was five...the Dumbass Eye Doctor that my parents took me to showed me pictures of houses and chickens.

Well, Fuck.  I could see those were house and chickens.  Blurry as hell, but I knew what they WERE.  If they had shown me letters, like my mother demanded, they would have picked up on my vision problems much earlier than the Third Grade When I Coudn't See Shit.

But then again, my Mom didn't take me to another eye doc until I couldn't read the damned score board at a basketball game.  So there is plenty of blame to go around...but I'm not bitter.  It would have just meant I would have been wearing those stupid thick ass glasses much earlier and recevied a few more years of teasing.

The Eye Doctor to Kiddo "Are you having any problems with your eyes?  Do they feel ok?"

Kiddo ponders a moment, and very matter of factly looks at the Eye Doctor and says "One Problem.  I can't see when I do this"

And he shuts his eyes tightly.

What is a Derecho?

Last Friday...this Wall of Terror came roaring from the Great Lakes to pretty much terrorize 600 miles of people that had no idea it was coming.

It was called a Derecho. Please feel free to Google.

Basically it's Wall of Terror, combining high winds, hail, heavy rain, unbelievable lightning...and did I mention Wind?

I saw said Derecho on my Facebook from my Wxrisk guy.

Hmmmmm...I said.  As I am sipping my iced lemonade on the back deck...Tiki torches blazing, watching Kiddo play in the pool...sweating but not too badly.  Hmmmm...  What the Fuck is That?

Big line of RED roaring down upon my parents.

So I called said parents.

Said parents are headed up the mountain to a catfish tournament (big deal in Hillbillyville).

I told said parents to get their asses home...

Said parents scoffed and said they were going to get their beans (bowl of brown beans and cornbread), then they'd head home.

This is the same parents that call me everytime it looks like it 'might' snow a bit.  And panics when we are under a tornado watch.  My Mother will literally text me constantly to ask if I am Ok...'look to the skies'...etc.

Again...I tell said parents to get their asses home.  They had about thirty minutes.

Said parents say Ok...I don't believe them.

I showed The Husband the radar.  The Husband frowns...we both hope it fizzles once it hits the Blue Ridge. 

I call said parents a half an hour later.  I've been watching the Radar, and my Facebook is now full of up to the second weather/power outage/trees down/carnage reports in the area.

Said parents can't get home.  They sought shelter at a former classmate's house and are hanging out in his basement while the winds roar.

I told you so.

I watch the Radar...

And I realize...Shit...this shit isn't fizzling out...it seems to be getting stronger.

We should be ok...really...no alerts up for here yet.

Take Kiddo up to bed...read some more reports of weather/power outages/trees down/carnage from back home.

Watch Radar....we should be Ok...I think.

Get ready for bed...grab a shower...find a flashlight...take dog out.

Shit.

From the back deck you can see the strobe lights flashing. 

Only it isn't strobe lights...its lightning.

Something wicked this way comes....and we are screwed.

We have one lantern that works...the flashlight is questionable.

We'll be Ok.

Climb into bed...turn on the TV.

And the power goes out.

SHIT.

Flashbacks of Hurrican Irene roll through my mind as The Husband and I wait for our eyes to adjust to the dark...and as The Dog immediately starts pacing like a maniac...

Then we tried to find the flashlight and lantern I had set out...

Yeah...that was fun...along with stepping on various Avengers in the process.

Why do we have to have this kind of storm...I am so not prepared.

At least I could see that one coming for crying out loud.  I didn't have time to shop, or anything in preparation.  I'm just standing here...watching my trees bend and the lightning flash...

The Parents call...they are home...had to wait on folks to clear the road of the fallen trees.  They have no power and as my mother put it 'it looks like a bomb went off'.

Goodie.

I didn't tell them we didn't have any juice, nor that the sky looked like a strobe light.  No need to add to their present situation.

I stand on the back deck and press down the urge to panic. 

Then our crazy backyard neighbors start acting weird.

The wind is HOWLING...the strobe lights are keeping it so lit I can watch everything...

And they are out in there in the backyard with flashlights waving them around like lightsabers.

Surely a tree didn't go through their house...I didn't hear anything.

What the fuck are they doing....

And the rain drives them inside.

Kiddo wakes up...

We realize this is not going to be good.

And we wait...and I pace...and I pace...Kiddo is asleep in the middle of our bed...the wind is screaming...

I'm standing stock still in the dining room staring out the back door.  Listening to random things thunk against the house.

I watch the radar but I don't have much battery left on my phone...

The Husband's phone is Dead.  Of course.

Suddenly...poof...it's done.

A few more strobe lights...and its black outside...and still.

Too still.

This is weird....really weird.

We access we have no damage...and see other neighbors flashlights blinking in the darkness. 

Crap....its like 110 degrees outside during the day...this is NOT going to be good...at all...ever.

So we go to bed...all three of us in one bed...on top of the covers...and The Dog laying in the floor. 

It's silent...and you can hear each of us breathing...and The Dog is nervous.

He hates the dark...so he's panting...

And Slurping.

And Smacking his Big Boxer Lips.

And Slurping.

Pant...Pant....Pant...

Slurp...Smack...Schlurrrrp...Pant Pant Pant.

Holy Fuck Dog...

I fuss at him....

The Husband fusses at him...

I grabbed the flashlight and stumbled into the dark kitchen to find his Stash of Doggie Valium.

A piece of Cheese and a Xanax later (for the dog)...we settle for the night.  It's about 1am.

530a...the Fucking alarm goes off.

You're kidding me right? 

Someone...not saying who...didn't turn HIS battery alarm off for HIS shooting tournament this morning.

It's daylight outside...it's gonna get Real Hot soon.

After letting Doped Dog out...and seeing that the neighbors only have a few small limbs down...we converse as Kiddo sleeps.

We have three options:

1)  Ride this out with a Generator and a Box Fan.

2)  Close up the House, take The Dog to the Kennel and go somewhere for the weekend and run the Credit Card up a bit.

3)  Close up the House, take The Dog to the Kennel, say Fuck It and visit the Inlaws.

We debate...I check our stash of food in the fridge and freezer.  Other than about ten pounds of chicken breasts, there really isn't any thing that's worth a gazillion dollars of gas and lots of sweating.

So we Close up the House...take the Dog to the Kennel (where he has a back up generator system for the dogs) and we drive to Visit the Inlaws.

Five hours later...we pull into the Inlaws driveway.

It's a Gazillion Degrees outside...

The Husband's freshly charged cell phone rings...

It's our Neighbor.

We got our Power Back!

Of course...that's how it always works.

We were crazy lucky...I mean super dooper Crazy Lucky!

Dear Derecho...I don't need a repeat...Thanks!

A Bit Irritating...

Kiddo and I ventured to a local library this evening.

Being as I have never had a job to accomodate such after hours adventures to local libraries, this is a fun pass time he and I share now.

I spent a LOT of time in our local libary last fall...studying...reading...watching movies using their wifi.

He and I would go in, try new books, new movies...and just enjoy.

We have tons of libraries close by, so we tried one that we haven't been too before on the way home tonight.  Honestly...I had never noticed it before..it's tucked back and away off the road. 

They have a wonderful calendar full of summer goodies for families. 

I picked up the catalog with glee!  Yay!  Some fun freebie things to do.

Then I was quite disappointed....

Yeah....99% of their 'family activities' are geared towards those children that have a stay at home parent.

Almost every stinking 'family activity' was at 10a on a Tuesday or Wednesday.

Really?

Are you kidding me?!

This irritates me to no end.

Rec Leagues do it with sports teams.  Practice and games start at 5p!  Come on folks!  Lots of people work UNTIL 5p for crying out loud.  Trying to juggle...give me until 6p or 630p at the latest.

I'm so glad that so many families do enjoy a stay at home parent.  I enjoyed being a part time stay at home mom.

But for crying out loud...please realize that some of us work!

We'd love to participate....

I'd love to enjoy a 'family activity' with my kid, but I cannot miss work to attend a Magic Show...or an awesome Song and Dance Program.

Nope...I work.

So Kiddo is stuck with whatever his Preschool does during the summer...which is fine.  They had a Magician last week...and have a Puppet Show next week.

And I feel guilty for not enjoying these things WITH HIM.

The five events that are held on the weekends (Saturday mornings at 10a)....are already completely 'sold out' for the summer.

Hmmmph.

*Holding my hands up in the air* ALL DONE!

Today was my very last day of class.

Yup.

I'm ALL DONE.

I've spent the last four days in 'Career Development'. 

Basically I emailed my resume to the Career Services Department, she couldn't pick it apart...I dilly dallied in the computer lab and I went to work after taking myself out to lunch at my favorite Mexican Place...while I read a non educational book.

I had the joy of watching the required 'You had better Pay your Student Loan Back' video.

I advised the Financial Aid lady that her numbers about what I owed was vastly wrong...and she found the error of her ways.

I dilly dallied some more and hung out with my old classmates.

In one month I am scheduled to take the National Medical Assistant Certification Test.

I had better study my ass off.

Cause if I fail...I'll just die.

The Externship is DONE.  I am now an official employee.

I'm busy as Hell and my knees hurt. 

I ordered new shoes from Amazon...I hope that helps.

Less money than my old job, more hours, so it balances out.  I guess.

I bought a purse today.  A lovely ORANGE purse from Kohls.

See, I had promised myself and awesomely awesome Coach bag when I started working full time.

I'm not working full time, and my salary is MUCH LESS than what I was going to make at my original job before she pulled the Plug and Retired.

So I put off The Purse.

Considering The Husband made a comment that my purse was 'getting ratty', I figured it was time to do something.  And I was in Kohl's...wasting time before I had to arrive for Student Appreciation.

Coach is not in the Budget...but Nine & Co 30% off plus an extra 30% off special coupon was.

So it is now mine.

And I am DONE.

WHOOT WHOOT!

I spent the day with my old peeps from class.  It was nice to hang out at the Student Appreciation Event.  Even if I was afraid to eat any of the food they had prepared for our cook out.  It was 110 degrees outside and I stood in line with my hand over the top of my head to prevent sunburn in my bangs part (a really bad spot for me...and I combust in direct sunlight anyway).

I drank two ice cold Mtn Dews and chatted...and laughed...and missed everyone.

I wore my green scrubs one last time.

I left at 12:50p with everyone else and headed home (since Thursday is now my day off).

And I felt good.

I've had anxiety attacks for the past two weeks about finances...but if I would relax and look...we are doing just fine...thank you very much.

I told Kiddo 'Mommy is done with School...yay right!?'  He high fived me and then asked 'Do I have to go to school tomorrow?' 

Yes son, you do...

He wasn't thrilled...at all.

Mommy left him a little GI Bill....he'll be fine.