Unpacking

Since The Husband came home, he's been unpacking...bit by bit.

Our upstairs guest room looks like the Army threw up from end to end.

Last time he came home, Kiddo was so small...and when The Husband started unpacking, he proceeded to grab his Gold Spurs and poke them right in his mouth.  I have an awesome pic of that. 

This time, Kiddo hasn't ventured up into the Guest Room to see the mess...

But today, The Husband and I worked all morning on finding our house underneath the clutter and mess.

My poor housekeeper...I left her a note apologizing for the mess...I'm sure she has seen worse.

The Husband started unpacking the huge gorilla boxes that he sent over a few weeks before he left from Over There.

They have been stacked behind my couch in the living room because that is as far as I was able to drag the lead lined brick loaded vertebra busting heavy ass things.

And Kiddo had a bit of a freak out moment.

This is the Kid that has dealt with The Husband being gone pretty well.  He has really managed to deal with him being Back Home even better. 

Never missed a beat.

Until today.

It was sad really.

"Dad!  Are you going back to Drill?!  DAD!"  as he was running from the dining room towards The Husband.  He wrapped his little hands over the top of the gorilla box and looked up at The Husband with these really wide blue eyes.

The Husband tried to explain he was just unpacking his stuff...but Kiddo wasn't really accepting that too much.  He actually grabbed the hat out of The Husband's hands and tossed it back in the box. 

Poor Kiddo.

The Husband stopped working on the box of stuff and closed the lid.

It can wait another day.

I dread The Husband's First Drill Weekend in March.  This is gonna be really interesting.

I'm not sure Kiddo isn't going to freak out a bit.

Extra hands...

Since April of last year, I have been busting my tail trying to keep everything in some sort of order...

Dinner, dishes, laundry, Kiddo...feed The Dog, feed The Cat before she claws the front door to shreds because her 16 pound self cannot wait five seconds longer to be fed...can you tell The Cat and I are not getting along all that well?

In there I had homework, studying, bills...errands.

It was a hell of a lot easier when I wasn't working...

Then I started working and wondered what in the hell was I thinking?  Nothing got done...I was spinning!

BUT, I now have a Great Husband 2000 that does laundry, dishes, keeps up with The Dog (The Cat is still a bit of an issue but that's mostly HER problem), took The Dog to the vet twice, prepares most dinners, jump starts my car when I have left the dome light on for three days, called AT&T and reupped our minutes so that we can share now, handled a Pediatrician appointment, one car repair is looming, and he occupies Kiddo while I study....

It's so nice to have him home.

I will honestly say, he's doing great...once he got all of the running around to stores thing out of his system after the first week. 

I hit a wall the second week.

Wives who have their husbands gone for long stretches of time will understand this comparison.  He was pissing in my litterbox and I was getting very territorial.

I was getting aggravated at everything.  The phone ringing, his piles of Army Throw Up all over the house and upstairs.  The extra laundry (that he was doing by the way).  I was not used to having another adult in the house with an actual opinion.    I wanted to pick a fight.

Nothing is more annoying than being undermined by a Husband that has Deployment Guilt and is spoiling Kiddo incessantly.  I had to step away...and then talk about it later to him.  There were other things involved, and I had to hike up my skirts and get over the wall...after I kicked it a few minutes.

So Momma had to take a deep breath and lighten up a bit. 

So far, things are going smoothly and we are looking at week four of him being home soon.  At this point last time we had had more than a few head banging moments...he'd went for a few drives, I had went for a few drives, we'd yelled.

Not so much this go round.

Yay.

It's going to be harder when he goes back to work in another month, but we will rock it out.

PS...Funny story.  Brought The Husband home from the Airport.  Settled in and hid from The Neighbors.  Went to bed.  I woke up at 3a...very disoriented and confused.  My heart was pounding...I was quite frightened.  There was someone in the bed with me...oh gawd there is someone in the bed with me!  I start to ease myself out of the bed so as not to wake The Freak...wondering why in the world someone was in the bed with me.   I had plotted in my head how to get me and Kiddo out of the house without being heard.  I had completely sat up, and was getting ready to slide on off the mattress when I realized... "Oh hell...It's The Husband!" 

Guess what I picked up?

Nuff Said

:)

Old Lady Underwear

I'm knocking on forty.

I'm a tad overweight.

I'm not a fashionista by any stretch of the imagination.

But I draw the line at frumpy underwear.

I had to step over that line today and draw a new one.

For the New Year's Holiday, my office was closed...and Kiddo's Preschool was open.  So I took advantage and was a Bad Mommy. 

I dropped him off at 830a...for just half a day to alleviate the Guilt.

I dropped a package off at Staples for the UPS guy to take BACK to Fredericks of Hollywood.

You know that Hot Little Number that I bought as a Welcome Home Surprise for The Husband.

Yeah...the model needs to eat a pizza and I need to remember that I cannot buy anything mail order.

At least it was too big.

And not as Hot as the picture on the website...I was bummed.
Then I hit Macy's for some new bras.

They didn't have the ones I had bought before.  Unfortunately. 

Nor did they have a salesperson.  Anywhere.

Fine...I'll got to Victoria's Secret.

I'm not sure what happened to Vicci's in the past few years....but I really really think I have outgrown the place.

Or they've lost the little bit of class that they had.

Probably a bit of both...

I'm not up to having the word PINK on everything I wear...nor the word LOVE printed across my ass.

Writing on the ass is just screaming BILLBOARD....especially when you aren't the cute little size 2 eighteen and twenty year olds they are marketing to now.

Those bitches will just run up their credit card folks and not pay the bill...but you know that.

I walked in Victoria's Secret twice...once on my way through the mall and once on my way out.

Both times, I just got more disgusted and left.

Their bras won't hold up anything anymore...tother than the Size 2's...and their cotton panties have ruffles on the edges, words all over them, and they basically carry thongs...

Plus they aren't made as well as they used to be.  If I am going to spend $6 for a pair of underwear it had better make it through to the next Semi-Annual sale...lately...they have not.

Plus, I don't wear a thong.  If you want a thong, Vicci's is the place to be.

It's a permanent wedgie...thanks.

Fuck this.

I managed to find two bras at JCPenney that will suffice since they don't have the iron stiff underwire in them...and bought a package of Hanes panties at Target.

I haven't bought prepackaged underwear since I had Kiddo and bought Granny Panties for the hospital.

At least they are fun colors.

Legos...really...how hard can they be?

Have any of you checked out Lego's lately?

If you haven't, you are in for one Hell of a Treat when it comes time to purchase them for your budding Engineer/Rocket Scientist/Child that will make you look DUMB.

Cause they sure as Hell are NOT like they used to be.

I remember a plain bucket of bricks...and you just built and built and built...and knocked them down...

Now they come in Sets.  Pirate Ships.  Star Wars.  Cool stuff.

Neat...this will be really cool.

My parents would never buy them...now I completely understand why.

They hurt...and they are annoying little fuckers.

Not the kids...the Legos.

I bought a rather benign set for Kiddo for Christmas.  They were for the 3+ age bracket.  They made a firetruck/ambulance/police boat.

Cool.

How hard can this be? 

We are going to have fun BUILDING something COOL.

Yeah...you open up the box to about five bags of assorted pieces...and a diagram that only a rocket scientist or a seven year old boy can figure out.

Because this 36 year old Journalist/Medical Assistant can't do it.

I poured out the bags...

Spread out the diagram...

Turned the diagram around...

Flipped the diagram over...

Shuffled some pieces around...

Attempted to get the base of the police boat together.

Got annoyed.

Decided to just Fucking Hide It until The Husband Gets Home.

He's on his way!

No...not Santa...

That big elf dumped enough crap here that I really don't want to see him again for a while. 

I mean really...WTF was I thinking during my last shopping excursion?  Legos?  OMG...I need to slip some of these things away and hide them.  I can't take it.  Between that box of six gazillion Lego's pieces to make a freaking firetruck (along with diagram instructions) and the Finn McMissile that you can take the wings, tires, and propellers off of and redesign it (only the Kiddo can't manipulate it so I am taking the wings, tired and propellers off every ten fucking seconds for him to redesign it) I'm about to bag it all up.

But anywhooo...

The Husband...he's the one on his way!

He's already left his base and is at another 'prep' location.  I can't pronounce it.  But that's ok.

It's funny to hear a hillbilly completely butcher the Arab language...or whatever language...any language. 

But he's started Leg One.

Now I am having an Anxiety Attack about him coming home.

I remember the Craptasticness that the first Reintegration was. 

And then I am SOOO excited to see him! 

He's promised to see a Therapist...I'm already seeing a Therapist.  I love him to pieces, but I know I'll be watching him closely.  Waiting for the Piss Ass Husband to emerge.

I hope he doesn't.  I'd really like to just get The Husband back home and leave all the Craptastic Garbage overseas.

Plus I would really really like to have a second set of hands to field Kiddo.

Oh yeah...and I need an audience for the Most Awesome Welcome Home Honey outfit that I bought at Fredericks with my first paycheck.

*grin*

Long story short...well, probably not so short...

Last Tuesday I went and did this:



That's allergy testing...The big whelts are trees.  Pretty much all trees...I don't like them.  I guess my cussing of the oaks in my front yard came back and bit me in the ass. By the time my 20 minutes were up, the third line had completely run together.

The doctor was an Idiot.  The office used to be the one I took Kiddo too, but the doctor that I loved has left, this Idiot has bought it, and the Medical Assistant that took care of me felt obligated to completely unload her troubles on me as she administered 100 tests on my back.

Needless to say, I'll transfer my files elsewhere before my next visit.

Not only did I react to trees, but pretty much every food they tested me with except for the meats, oats, soy and rice.    The right side of my body apparently wasn't in the Medical Assistants field of view when she was taking the pics...so I have no photos of THOSE whelts.

But she said " How ya doin' honey....(pause pause) oh lawd (pause pause)" when she saw my back after ten minutes of me sitting there.

Idiot never saw the whelts as she cleaned me up and cortisoned me all over...then I got dressed. 

Idiot then sat there and tried to sell me mattress covers for dust mites (got those), HEPA filtration systems (check) and told me to reduce the carpeting in my house (already did).

I was more concerned about the damned food allergies than the fucking dust mites...thanks.

He didn't seem concerned, but Idiot proceeded to just tell me about allergy shots, didn't order blood work, and by the way, he said that I should carry an Epi-Pen.

What the Fuck dude?

You aren't concerned?  But I should carry an Epi-Pen?

Make sense to anyone else?

Oh yeah, and to just keep eating as normal.  If it bothered me, stop eating it.

I guess like the night that black beans in my burrito put me in the emergency room with swollen face and throat.

Holy Shit Batman...

I should have charged HIM for the visit.

I went to my new job and showed my doctor the pic.

She was very concerned about how I was feeling.

I was feeling fine...but my left shoulder...I wanted to find a big scratching post and just rub all over it.

The Husband's reaction... "Holy SHIT!"

Uh huh.

Took two days for the whelts to go down.  That's a pic from Thursday.

Then we get to the Pharmacy part of the story.

My inlaws are in town...we've been out to dinner.  Might as well go pick up the slew of prescriptions that Idiot called in for me.  I agreed with the majority of them, and knew it would cost me a pretty penny.  If the inhalers and pills kept me from having six weeks of bronchitis again for a while, I'll cope.

Got to the window.  Miss Judy was my clerk.  She's so nice.

We chatted.

She told me that my total was...and she grimaced.... $220.34. 

I blinked, but I wasn't really shocked.  Epi-Pens are not cheap...neither are most inhalers.

I thought my Mother In Law was going to crap her britches.

She sputtered and stuttered like a Volkswagon on a cold morning.

This woman buys ALL of her medications at the Dollar Store.

Or bums samples from her doctor.

So I handed Miss Judy my debit card.  Might as well.

Miss Judy runs it...

Then whispers "Do you have another card?"

My heart sank...'What?'

"Do you have another card sweetie, this one was declined"

Of course the Inlaws are hearing every word...so I fell totally incompetent.

I just smile and say "Uhm...yeah...that's weird"

And it was weird.  I was feeling really weird.  And my blood pressure was sorta up.

So I pass through our credit card and pray to all things holy, in my head, that it went through.

It did.

At the same time I am frantically checking my bank account online.

Thank you App.

I have money.

Lots of money, considering I haven't done the transfers yet to the bills and so forth.

It's nice when The Husband is deployed.  The numbers are pretty.

But back to the story... I inform Miss Judy "There's money in the account...probably a fraud alert"  And smile.

She's probably heard that before.

She smiled back.

My Mother In Law is digging in her purse...I guess thinking I need money.

I hand her my bags of medicines and we proceed to pull out.

She's counting the co pays and trying to add them all up...all the while exclaiming because I spent so much.

Hell lady...you ain't seen nothing until you drop $80 on a box of Pulmicort that lasts a week..and $45 on a little bottle of ear drops that last a few days...thank goodness I have insurance...oh thank goodness.

We get home, I log in to the bank account...all the while playing it cool.

No alerts.

I call the hotline...and wait and wait ...oh yeah, and wait.

All the while, Kiddo is revving up all the stinking remote controlled toys they bought as loudly as he can.

And Father in Law keeps asking if I am upset. 

"No...I'm fine...just really curious as to what is going on"  But in my head, I want to scream "Of course I am upset fuckstick...I just got DECLINED at my local pharmacy by Miss Judy!"

Finally the bank answers...and guess what...they flagged my $220 transaction as fraud since I have never spent that much money at Walgreens.

I pause.

And tell the lady..."I was getting my prescriptions at the drive thru"

She tells me that if I had ran it as debit it would have went through.

Yeah...they don't give you that CODE in the HANDBOOK when you get DECLINED at the DRIVE THRU by MISS JUDY.

But I do appreciate their security.

At the same time, I know Miss Judy and the girls chatted when I left.

Damnit.

I need a breathing treatment now.