Personal Questions

We are on vacation...YAY!

The Husband leaves in a few weeks for overseas...BOO!

The Toddler has had an absolute blast on our trip...YAY!

All three of us are having a great time...and maid service is divine.

But if I get one more stinking personal ass question from people about the fact that he is an Only Child...I'm gonna drop kick someone into the Lazy River.  I am.  I really am.

This vacation has REALLY brought out the people who feel it is up to them to question our Decision to have Only One.  It's been constant.  And annoying.

Folks...I CHOSE not to procreate more than once.  It was a very deeply personal decision that The Husband and I made.

He left when The Toddler was a week old for a year to Iraq.

I had UNBELIEVABLE post partum depression.

The Toddler was soooo sick that I am not sure how I maintained a shred of sanity.

And we are happy with ONE.

I do not feel the need to stretch myself out even more.

I do not feel the need to explain it to you either....We use the 'we're good with One' when asked in casual conversation how many we have, or if we are planning more.  It usually stops there.  Sometimes it doesn't...then heeeeeere we go.

It's not a financial thing...that's probably the last Con on The List.

It's an emotional thing and 'we are happy with our ONE' thing.

SO STOP FREAKING ASKING PERSONAL QUESTIONS ABOUT IT.

None of your business 'Why'. 

None of your business 'But He Will Be Lonely'. 

None of the knowing smiles and the 'Oh, you'll feel different later'.

Nope. 

And don't give me that damned 'Oh, you never know!'  Yes I freaking do.  The Husband did the right thing for us and took care of the issue.  I'm not sharing that with you either.  None of your business.  Like the rest of the conversation.  Can we talk about something else other than my reproductive cycle?  Cause...that's what we are really talking about here...  you know that right?

Or my favorite...the 'oh...he's an Only' thing.  Whatever the heck that means.  Usually...it's a thinly veiled jab at the fact I am actually playing with my kid or talking to my kid...rather than letting it run amuck and terrorize other kids.

(Not ALL parents do this...but it seems as if the ones who do allow their children to run wild... feel the most  need to criticize my choice to have Only One)

And to the Chick at the pool this morning with your FIVE children... that chose to tell me how to get my cranky three year old to love the water as much as her weird two year old, suck it.  And then informed me 'oh, I have five...I pretty much know everything'.

You should have stopped there...and we could have ignored each other in silence.

But no...you had to freaking push.

I conversationally said 'oh we're good with just The One' when you asked if he was 'It'.

Then you had to keep going.

And pushing.

'But he will be lonely'  No he won't.

'He won't learn to play with others'  He's doing just fine right now with your weird kid.

(Don't EVER mention your child is in daycare to Those Moms...that's a whole other Judgment down upon your Only Child Bearing Head)

'But don't you want more'  No.  We are good with One.

I tried walking away.

Sick of The Game now thanks...you just HAD to keep plucking.

'Why?!'  OMG...Really.  NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.  There I said it.

Really...I am not that stunning of an example of genetics that requires me to breed.  Really...you aren't either lady.

And your 'sorry to offend you' didn't work either.

You didn't offend me...you just didn't shut up fast enough when I said it was 'none of your business'.

If I had been offended, you would have known I was offended.  I was sick of talking to you and your self righteous all knowing self.

Really...none of your business.

You're lucky I didn't ask if you had another hobby other than sex and obstetrics.

But there were kids there...and you were annoying me.

I haven't asked one single person with multiple children WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY?  Honestly, I don't care.  Inside I am wondering if you are insane...but I will not walk up to you and ask...I won't.

I promise.

I haven't asked one single person with multiple children anything personal...ever.

Stop judging those of us with One Child.

There are some deep reasons as to why people choose to have One.

Infertility
Financial
Emotional
Mental
Physical

It's freaking personal.

None of your business.

Not up for discussion.

We are very happy with our beautiful, bright, loving, happy Gift.  He's our One.

Next time someone asks me why we are choosing to have Only One...I'm going to ask when their last period was...what they pay in mortgage...results of last PAP smear...what their credit score is...

You know...since we are asking incredibly personal questions...why not?