Dear Lawn Contractor Leaf Remover Dudes

Never freaking mind you bunch of lazy jerk faces.

I mean it.

I've called no less than seven Lawn Service companies.

I have a problem.

I have half an acre of heavy coverage oak leaves. 

With more of those fuckers falling.

Not just a quick  Clean Out My Flower Beds kind of job.

I have a Bring Your Big Ass Equipment Cause This is Gonna Take a While job.

And no one apparently wants to make a couple of hundred dollars.

Oh fucking well.

One company...after they advertised in our local newspaper, informed me I was five miles out of his radius and he would have to charge me a service fee.  This is before Dumbass bothered to do a drive by estimate.  Uhm...I think he would have waived his service fee after he saw it. 

Honestly...I win in the neighborhood for leaf coverage.  If there was a contest...I'd win.  I've never seen so many leaves...but I do love that shade in the summer.

Two companies...well, let's say this...if you have your PHONE NUMBER listed on your WEBSITE...then FUCKING ANSWER it with your company name other than 'Yeah!'   You didn't show up either...and I don't think one of you was writing anything down.

The other four...I left you messages DAYS ago.  Never heard back. 

NEVER FUCKING MIND.

I had this same problem with finding a Housekeeper. 

I also had the same problem with locating a contractor to asphalt my 85 foot long driveway.  

Then there was the tree removal a few years ago. 

Shit people.

I'll figure it out on my own.  I've taken care of it before...I can handle it again. 

Hell, I'll rent the zero turn mower chopper shredder mulcher thing that we rented last year and just do it my own DAMN self.

As Pretty Woman once said 'Big Mistake. BIG Mistake'