Holiday Heartburn and Creepy Movie (ie..Toy Story 3)

For anyone that hasn't seen Toy Story 3, please stop here so that I don't ruin the surprise for you.

If you have seen it, or don't care either way...this is the most freaking creepy movie ever.

Between the half blind baby doll that cries and calls for her Mama...to the weird mean teddy bear...and the whole Lord of Flies mentality they have going on...to tying up Buzz Lightyear...the whole prison/Shawshank Redemption bit...it was a little too much for me.

And here I was, before we started the movie, telling The Husband to 'wait a minute, I want to watch it too!' as I cleaned up breakfast in the kitchen.

I should have found something else to do for two hours.

I don't like dolls...think they are creepy.

There is one very creepy doll in this movie.

I don't like clowns...think they are creepier.

There is a one very freaking creepy clown in this movie.

It's just weird.   I don't want to watch it ever again...no thanks.  Hoping The Toddler was not a huge fan.  I really don't want to watch it ever ever ever again.  Yuck.

I even turned to The Husband halfway through and asked if he was creeped out... his words  'uh yeah'.

And the whole layers upon layers of guilt for throwing broken toys away. Gee thanks.

I'd rather watch HappyFeet again...not really...but close.

And as for the heartburn...I'm sick of Holiday Food now.  We ordered, we picked up, we ate it...and we ate it again...and we ate it some more.   I pawned some off on the neighbors...and we still have more...  I think I'll order a pizza or something tomorrow.

My awesome homemade Christmas Morning cinnamon rolls were not good (I will not be posting pics of that fail)...so I started the day with Crack Cookies (my co worker makes the most amazing sugar cookies that are so addictive I've named them Crack Cookies) and coffee..a lot of coffee...and it was cool.

But Christmas was awesome...The Toddler finally got the whole Santa thing this year.  His Elves spent three hours last night putting together the big whopping train table and track...and he was thrilled...when we had to roll him out of bed at 8am.  He's played all day.  Singing the Thomas theme song over and over... 'They're two, they're four, they're six they're eight...'

And it's snowing.... *sigh*

Merry Christmas!

Santa goes to the ENT too!

So yesterday, we journey to the ENT to have the left tube dug out of his ear...where it was apparently just rolling around in there.  My son kept telling me he had a ball in his ear...really? 

Why we couldn't turn him upside down and let it just fall out is beyond my comprehension. 

Just kidding...sorta.

Sitting in the waiting room...dealing with the weird kid that wouldn't leave my child alone...and guess who walks in?

Well, if you read the title you'd know.

Santa...and Mrs Clause!

Apparently Santa had an ENT type emergency and had to stop by, in full regalia.

The most awesome part...he kept up the guise the whole time.

Santa's hearing aid may have flipped out...or a kid may have stuck a candy cane up his nose...I have no idea.

But they played along with the kids in the waiting room.

And that was just freaking awesome.

Of course it really didn't make up for the screaming fit that was thrown by my very own Toddler when the tube was literally plucked out of his ear...but that is a whole other story.

Ohhhhh....just go suck a candy cane...

The Holidays seem to bring out the jolly in some people.

The rude and impatient in the rest of the people.

I ran into Mrs. Rude and Mr. Impatient with their child Unhappy today while waiting in line for pictures with Santa.

You see, we go to the same Santa every year.

Yes, it requires an hour drive north to the mall that he works at.

I have a photo of The Toddler with this Santa for every Christmas he's been here.

For his first one, he was only four months old...and quite adorable.  Santa cuddled him right up, The Infant gave us a surprised expression, and we were done.

The second year, The Husband and I had to get in the picture too.  He was having it no other way.

Last year...The Toddler was not cooperating AT ALL.  NONE OF IT.  We tried every trick known to man to get him to smile.  My pic is of him with his head thrown back, Santa looking at him like he had lost his mind, and my son is NOT AMUSED.  It's hilarious...and I bought it anyway.

I was really stressed about this years photo.  Was he going to cooperate?  Was he going to pull a Toddler Tantrum?  Were we going to walk out with yet another FAIL of a picture?

If we did, it was still going to go in the photo album anyway...cause dang it...he's gonna see it when he is sixteen.

So we arrive.  Santa opens at 12p.  It's 11:55a.

It's raining.

There is a line outside the storefront that he is going to be at this year.  Under and awning of course.

We are number 4.

Behind us, in a matter of seconds, we go to number 18.

And all, but one infant girl, are boys....very active boys.  Not kidding.  It was like all the parents of boys decided to do this RIGHT NOW.

We get inside...Santa makes his big arrival...does a few magic tricks, then settles back in his big ol' chair and receives his first customers.

My son watches with wide eyed wonder. 

It also didn't hurt that Santa pulled Rudolph's nose out of my husband's ear either.

I smile at other people's children sitting on Santa's lap.  Everyone is dressed in their sweaters and corduroy pants.  My son has on the jeans that he despises because I refused to have his picture done with him in sweatpants, clean socks, clean underwear, and his brand new Lightning McQueen shirt...there was no getting him in a sweater, tie, or dress shirt.  I tried.  He's lucky he's not in his pajamas.

Number One finishes, they take the picture.  The Elf checks out Number One's parents while Santa receives Number Two, and talks to them during the lull.

Mrs. Rude (who was Number Seven by the way) starting getting antsy.  I guess her son, Unhappy, was not amused at having to wait his turn.

She asks my number...I told her Number Four. 

She huffs.

Then she paces...stepping around the photographer, around us, in front of us...etc.

Unhappy is whining.  My thought...Child...you're a little too old and too big to be whining about waiting.  Suck it up.

The Toddler watches the proceedings while being held by The Husband so that he can warm up the whole Santa thing.  

I'm glaring at Mrs. Rude...who has now been joined by her husband Mr. Impatient.

Now they want to know why more people aren't working? 

What is taking so long?

How much longer are they going to have to wait?

Why isn't there something for the kids to DOOOOO while they are waiting?

Blah blah blah blah.

I tuned her out...seriously woman...go suck a candy cane or something and just shut up.   Each child is getting about a full minute to two minutes with Santa before the picture is done.  Your precious Unhappy child is going to get his time.  Chill.

Number Three let out a wail of epic proportions.  I had to laugh.  Been there, and done that.

Then it was our turn....

I will admit.  I have a Santa phobia.  Hated him as a child, and own no Santa decorations, gift wrap, cards, ornaments...nothing.  But I do adore this Santa.   He probably is pretty cool to hang out with and have a beer or two.  He is retired Air Force, and I thought that was hysterical when I found that out.  You see...I chat with people.  And the first year I took The Toddler to see Santa, The Husband was in Iraq and we had a few moments to chat while waiting on the pictures to print.  No one else was in line...he's a nice guy.

I got a little choked up watching The Toddler walk up to that big chair.

The Toddler was escorted to Santa by The Husband, along with Flump, his stuffed elephant.  He sat nicely on Santa's lap, and listened to Santa tell him to be good and listen to his parents this year. 

And Santa did a magic trick for him...and he giggled...full out laugh.

And we got the picture!  Hot Damn!  Whooot!

And Mrs. Rude just huffed and continued to pace behind me while I checked out and collected my purchase.  And we strolled out with a thrilled Toddler and beautiful Holiday Photo.

I wish I had had a candy cane to hand her...secretly, deep down inside...I am still hoping her kid flipped out and she didn't get a good photo.

But I'm sure they made sure they tied up that line long enough for Unhappy to list off all of his wants and needs...and then complained all the way home because of the wait.  Well duh folks...it's DECEMBER 12th.  If you hadn't noticed...Santa's not around for much longer.  What did you expect?

Happy Holidays to all!

Drop a Toy in Toys for Tots!

Sing along

Sing it to London Bridge along with me:

The freaking ear tube is falling out…falling out…falling out…

The freaking ear tube is falling out…my fair lady….

Yeah, you can stop singing now…cause I am having an anxiety attack.

12/4/2007 was my son’s first ear infection.  I remember it clearly.  It was a freaking nightmare to a new mom with four month old with a 103 degree fever at 2am.  I was terrified.

In a previous blog…from January or so of this year, I detailed out my son’s ear problems.  You can read it here.

I also stated that I bought an otoscope, and I check his ears at least once a week…sometimes even more.  That thing goes on all trips with us.  I would rather be able to take a peek in his ear and see what he is digging out rather than pay a copay for the doc to say ‘it’s wax’.   I also found the purple crayon well before anyone else did.

I am also a control freak.

So he’s been digging this weekend…hard.  Like really really rubbing his left ear. 

Crap.

I take a peek.

Yup, that left tube is coming out.   I can see the other side of the spool. 

Craaaaap. 

The right side is just fine.

At least that is rooting in our favor.

I mean, seriously, what’s the worst that can happen?

He can get another ear infection…a raging fever…rupture his ear drum AGAIN…be miserable. 

That would be number TWENTY THREE. 

Then we get to go through another round of waiting to see if he gets anymore.  And then having tubes put back in and Ciprodex drops, and all that jazz.  Just what I want to do over the holidays.

Or maybe he’ll never have another ear infection.  Since we stopped the dairy, things have been 3000 times better than the first two years.

So he goes to the ENT next week to see what is going on…probably have the joy of holding him down while they root around in his ear and dig the mess out. 

Craptastic.

Sunday afternoon dinner rush...

Most Sundays, when I can and when I am in the mood, I put together two or three dinners and pop them in the fridge.  That way we are set until Thursday night...when we will then opt for the local Mexican restaurant that has the most amazing enchilada sauce...but I digress.

Today....my concoctions were poultry based.  They were on sale...so why not?

Dish #1:

Mexican chicken
Recipe:
Three or four chicken thighs, or whatever chicken you want to shred.  Boneless skinless chicken breasts do not work very well...they just don't have enough fat on them.

If you have more than three adults eating dinner, add a few extra chicken thighs.
One or two boxes of Spanish Rice (Rice A Roni is what I use)
One or two cans of Rotel or diced tomatoes.  If you use one box of spanish rice mix, use one can of tomatoes
Pack of fajita seasoning.  I used to use taco seasoning, but that was just too much taco taste.

Bake chicken thighs uncovered until done(I add a little Ms Dash Chipotle seasoning on top)usually 45 minutes at 350...allow to cool off enough to shred and debone.

Pour in your box (boxes) of spanish rice mix into the pan with the shredded chicken.

Add can(s) of tomatoes.

Depending on what brand you used, follow the directions on the back for the amount of water to add for the rice.  Usually, two cups per box.

Stir in fajita seasoning.

Bake covered for thirty minutes at 350.  Stir at least once if you can.

Uncover and bake another 15-20 minutes...remove and allow to cool and thicken.

Serve with sour cream, lettuce, tomatoes...etc.

Add  jalepenos, green peppers, whatever you chose to make it your own.

Enjoy!

Dinner #2
Shocking Chicken

Basically a beer butted chicken...with Shock Top beer.  We didn't drink it all this summer, so bit by bit, I am working through the Newcastle and Shock Top.

Fire up your grill and get it to 450-500 degrees.

I have a fancy roaster thingy from Sur La Table, that has the 'can' built in the middle.  However, I have used empty green bean cans, or a black olive can once.  I don't use beer cans...they aren't substantial enough.

While the grill is heating...prep your bird.  Take it out of the plastic, rinse it out, make sure the innards are out.

Insert bird over can...small tip...do that on a baking pan, frying pan, something to catch all the drippings.  I set my roasting contraption over the wok pan that I never use, except for this.

I stuff the bird with sliced onions, celery and lemon pepper seasonings.  Sometimes a garlic clove or two...that's more with the Newcastle beer.

Proceed to slowly pour beer down into the chicken...trying to get the most in the can.  Pour some over the chicken itself...then rub the rest of your seasonings into the outside skin...carry out in your pan and place on grill.  If you are using an old baking pan, you can put it on the grill too to catch the drips.  I do not recommend putting your skillet or my wok on that hot grill.

Then just turn the bird around every thirty minutes or so.  Cook until done.  I usually end up cooking over 2 hours or so.  I am not playing with an underdone bird.

Take off grill and carry back in same pan...the beer doesn't disappear...that can will be full....and you'll make a mess...it just happens.

Carve and enjoy!


I have a boxed mix for a pineapple upside down cake that I will eventually get to...probably not today.

Life Skills

There are some things you realize, as you get older, and become a responsible adult...

The first questions you see to ask youself are:

Now how am I supposed to fix that?
Why is the sink making that noise?
Why is there water all over the bathroom floor?

Then you go searching for the phone book or Google.  Or a neighbor who has skills.

At some point, in high school or college, there should be a required life skills class.   Something.  A semester course that teaches you basic household wiring (I'm literally going to have to get an electrician in here to replace a blown outlet in my kitchen).   Or even basic household plumbing...replacing a faucet, or putting the guts back in a toilet...the mysteries of the plumbing aisle astound me.  How about a few days of sheet rock repair to allow you to do the job without looking like a five year old did it?  I'd love to know if 'that noise' coming from my kitchen sink is supposed to be there.  Or how to wire in a new dining room light that doesn't look like it is from 1993.  Or a garbage disposal.  I'd love to have a garbage disposal.  But then I realize I need to call someone in to do it, and then I just rethink the whole plan.

I mean really, they have a freaking cartoon character that makes home repair look easy!  Right now, The Toddler is watching Handy Manny.  It's like Bob Vila for the preschooler set.  And he makes me feel totally  inadequate.  He's a cartoon character with animated talking tools for crying out loud...and I feel like I am watching his every move to see how he does it.  He built a birdhouse today.  Complete with Cape Style upstairs windows.  Yeah.  Mine would have been a milk carton with a hole cut in it.

Back in my high school/junior high days...we took a one week course on gun safety.  Yes, we did.  It was rural West Virginia and a new program.  You had to have your Hunter Safety card to get your hunting license...so therefore they just brought it to the school.  It was handy.

We had a goofy shop class.  I made a potato bin.  It worked...sorta.  Yay.

Why in there could they not teach home wiring, plumbing, sheet rock repair, basic painting skills.  Some kind of home repair.  Something.  Something that you would USE in life.  Maybe not in Junior High, but definitely High School, or as part of every Major program in College. 

And add in a 'What does this Mean when my Car makes this Noise' class.  That'd be real handy.  

But then again, I wouldn't have realized the value of it.  I probably wouldn't have paid a lick of attention.   I would have been more concerned about the classes that I need to graduate and work in my field. 

Now they offer these classes, at a local community college, for a rather nice fee, at night...but I have a real world job, a long commute, a kid and no time.  *sigh*

Ha!  If I only knew then what I know now...which one class would have been worth more in the long run.

Loaf on the Wild Side

I fixed meatloaf tonight.
Not your typical meatloaf that your mom fixes...
Mine is Antelope Meatloaf...Anteloaf.
As I have discovered with cooking with wild game...it can be a little dry if you aren't careful.
I'm careful.
My Anteloaf is pretty darn good.
So good, that pretty much this whole pan is going to work with The Husband tomorrow to 'share' amongst his co workers.  I might get a piece before its all gone.
The Toddler won't eat Meatloaf, Anteloaf, or Veniloaf...even if we try to tell him its like a meatball.  Uhm...nope.

Recipe:
2lbs of your favorite ground meat.  I use Venison (Veniloaf) mostly, but have a shelf of Antelope in the freezer now to use.
3 eggs for moisture and consistency
1 can of chopped tomatoes
1 small can of tomato sauce
1/2 chopped green pepper
1/2 chopped onion
Packet of meatloaf seasoning
Oatmeal to a thick consistency.  DO NOT USE QUICK OATS.  I couldn't tell you the right measurement of oats, I just know what it is supposed to look like.
Salt and Pepper to taste.
Mix and bake in a baking dish (I'm partial to Pampered Chef but that is a whole other addiction)
Cover with foil and Bake at 350 for 35 minutes.
Remove and coat with ketchup and bake uncovered for 20 more minutes.
Let set for about 20 minutes before serving.  Overnight in the fridge is best.

Serve it up with some unhealthy sides like cheesy potatoes or mashed potatoes with sour cream.