Announcements

Kiddo has a Big Mouth.

Like I have said before, I have NO idea where he got that trait.

*BLINKING INNOCENTLY HERE*

He also likes Toy Story.

So I will segway into our conversation in Target on Saturday night.

"Mom!  They have Toy Story toys!!"

"Kiddo, we are not getting a Toy Story toy...this is not shopping for a prize"

"Mom!  They have Woody!"

I'm going to interrupt here with my personal thoughts on a few things.  One...whoever in the hell named that characted Woody needs to go shopping with a three/four year old in a toy store.  Come on!  Woody...give me a break!  It's as bad as Percy being pronounced by a two year old.  Again, the Namer needs beaten.

Back to the story:

"No Kiddo"

And then he belts out....

"Mom!  I want the WIGGLY WOODY!  Not the HARD WOODY!  I want a WIGGLY WOODY!"

I couldn't fucking push the buggy fast enough.

And The Husband had to step into an aisle and laugh until he cried.

Catching Up

I've been meaning to do a blog entry lately...but usually something happens that keeps me from sitting down in front of my computer for about ten minutes at a stretch...

Someone needs to poop...usually the dog.

Someone needs fed...usually the kid.

Someone needs to do homework...usually me.

Someone needs to put together yet another presentation of some sort...usually The Husband.

In other words, I haven't really popped open my own laptop for an extended stretch for nearly a month now.

Here's a Recap.

The Husband has adjusted well and it's as if he never left.  Between the Therapist I made him go to (well, he had no problem with going so it isn't like I twisted his arm), to the fact that neither one of us had an uber stressful separation...things have been good.

OTHER THAN the fact that he CANNOT stop buying Kiddo STUFF.  He's creating a mini monster that wants a prize everytime we stop the car....whether it's at an Exxon station or Target.  I've had to draw the line in the sand a few times.  But then he sneaks and orders from Amazon.  Ridiculous.  We are working on it.  I'm going to have to pull his password privileges.

We've done some super cool stuff.  Circus, Museum of Natural History, Surry-Jamestown Ferry, and SNOW!

My 37th Birthday has come and gone.  I was fine until one of my classmates announced  "Oh My God! My Mom is like only 42!"  Well shit sweetheart...thanks.

I've drawn blood on four people now.  My first was The Husband in a private training session at the Fire House where he works.  That was cool.  I was deemed a 'Good Stick'.  I'll take that as a compliment.  I guess.  :)  Considering I didn't bruise him at all.  Plus, I didn't really realize blood was REALLY that red.  We've been drawing on fake arms for so long, I was used to the red kool aid color.

10 more weeks of class and then I am out on externship.  Then done.  Fifteen weeks total.  I cannot wait.  I'm tired of juggling.  It's been awesome though.

I'm still loving my job.  I'm becoming jaded though regarding a few things.  Too many little girls rolling in there pregnant and their mom's are giving them their 'privacy'.  Give me a break.  That's what got you the hell in the mess.  I'm glad I am not in the dating pool...I think STD's are a new rage of some sort...I didn't know THAT many people were trucking around with all kinds of things going on Down There.  But I'm learning and enjoying my job.  So grateful to have a job too!

And The Husband is a Changed Man.  I've brought him over the Dark Side.  Pedicures.  He went with me during our Date Weekend and is addicted as sin.   We had a babysitter this past weekend so that we could get our truck taken care of (sold the old one, bought a new one and didn't want to have to wrestle Kiddo at a Dealership).  So we went again as a treat.  I have a new Pedi Partner...and the girls at the nail salon get a huge kick out of GI Joe getting his toes done.   Stand back girls...he's ALL mine!

Please

I've now been working in an OB/GYN office since December and am truly an expert in everything OB/GYN related.

Yeah...not so much...

Considering Doc went to school for like a gazillion years and I've managed to acquire a Broadcasting/Journalism degree that was useless and now in school for a Medical Assistant Certification.

Yeah...I'm an expert.

Insert *snort* here.

However, people think I am an expert when they find out where I work.

My newest replies are...

"You might want to call your doctor" 

"Hmmm..have you talked to your doctor"
 
"Oh. My. GOD...that happens right before YOU DIE!"

Well...I've wanted to use that last one, but haven't.

I am truly loving my job, and most days feel like I am behind the power curve by quite a bit...but I am getting there and enjoying it very much.

There are a few things I want to get off my chest however.

When you call for an appointment...I NEED to KNOW what it is that YOU NEED.  Telling me one thing, and then showing up for a whole other issue FUCKS our day up.  A simple 'yeast infection' visit is blocked off as just a few minutes on the schedule.  However, if you roll in and decide that you need a full on round of cultures because your boyfriend was cheating on you....and you have some funny stuff going on 'down there'...and you need it checked...then that takes longer....and I get in trouble because I don't have you scheduled right.

Plus, if we have you scheduled for A...and you show up for D...and your insurance won't cover D...you've wasted our time, your time...everybody's time. 

I am NOT going to judge you.  Just TELL me.  Believe me...you won't be the first, nor the last...nor the worst.

Next...if I ask for a urine sample...just pee in the effing cup.  Come one ladies.  We are not partying with it after hours.  We are not selling it on the black market...or gold market.  We don't care if you gave a sample at the other doctors office this morning.   I need you to pee in the cup.  Just pee.  Please...just pee and don't give me a hard time.  I really don't want to mess with it either, but something might come up during the exam and we need that pee.  You can tell a lot from pee... just pee in the cup.

If you are going to make an appointment...please keep the appointment, or call.  You've just blocked off half an hour for an annual visit and you didn't show.  Yeah, it opens us up to get paperwork and other stuff done, but it costs us a visit that we could have used for someone that really needed to be seen today. 

And pee in that cup...pretty please.

Shocking...

Kiddo had his first Parent Teacher Conference on Monday night.

A week before the Blessed Event, I actually received the paperwork home via his backpack (the Folder is a Freaking Flop by the way).

The Husband and I were asked to sit down and write down Kiddo's 'Likes' and 'Dislikes'.  Plus, we were asked to discuss what we felt were his strengths and weaknesses, and 'Issues You Feel We Need to Address'.

Being the honest Parents that The Husband and I are...we realize that Kiddo has some Issues.

Even though we think he is the Most Perfect, Most Wonderful, Smartest, sometimes Most Irritating Little Boy on the Planet...

The Issues are as Follows:

Following Directions.

Paying fucking attention to something...other than Cars, or Thomas, or shiny objects.

And he Talks too Much.

Now...I have NO idea where he gets these traits. 

I'm pretty quiet.  My own mother has stated that I started talking when I was nine months old and haven't shut up since....

Oh wait...

Hmmmm....

But anywhoo...we go in, sit down in the itty bitty chairs...

Kiddo thinks he is in trouble...I've explained he is Not.

Teacher #1 and Teacher #2 smile and laugh...we go over the List.

Number one:  We all agree he likes Preschool.

Number two:  We all agree that he likes his Friends.

Number three:  We all agree that he does not like packing his lunch (that's an entire fricking fracking blog in itself).

Number four:  We all agree that he is happy that Dad is home.

Number five:  This is where we discover that our child is really the same kid at home that he is at school...

He thinks Directions and Instructions are for Sissies apparently. 

Standing in Line...yeah right. 

Sitting down...double yeah right. 

Participating in classroom activities...triple yeah right. 

He's smart...very articulate...talks well and is excelling with the preschool academics even better...

But being still...not on his Agenda...

Teacher #1 and Teacher #2 agree that it doesn't seem he has an underlying issue (I know where they were going)...but its just the fact that he has Other Things to Do.

Awesome.

Another year in Preschool will help this issue quite a bit...and we agree.  Since he is an August baby, and much to my Father In Law's Bitter Resignation...he is being held for Kindergarten until he is six. 

Another year of Tuition...Goodie.

And packing that Stupid Lunch every day.

I hate Packing Lunch.

Unpacking

Since The Husband came home, he's been unpacking...bit by bit.

Our upstairs guest room looks like the Army threw up from end to end.

Last time he came home, Kiddo was so small...and when The Husband started unpacking, he proceeded to grab his Gold Spurs and poke them right in his mouth.  I have an awesome pic of that. 

This time, Kiddo hasn't ventured up into the Guest Room to see the mess...

But today, The Husband and I worked all morning on finding our house underneath the clutter and mess.

My poor housekeeper...I left her a note apologizing for the mess...I'm sure she has seen worse.

The Husband started unpacking the huge gorilla boxes that he sent over a few weeks before he left from Over There.

They have been stacked behind my couch in the living room because that is as far as I was able to drag the lead lined brick loaded vertebra busting heavy ass things.

And Kiddo had a bit of a freak out moment.

This is the Kid that has dealt with The Husband being gone pretty well.  He has really managed to deal with him being Back Home even better. 

Never missed a beat.

Until today.

It was sad really.

"Dad!  Are you going back to Drill?!  DAD!"  as he was running from the dining room towards The Husband.  He wrapped his little hands over the top of the gorilla box and looked up at The Husband with these really wide blue eyes.

The Husband tried to explain he was just unpacking his stuff...but Kiddo wasn't really accepting that too much.  He actually grabbed the hat out of The Husband's hands and tossed it back in the box. 

Poor Kiddo.

The Husband stopped working on the box of stuff and closed the lid.

It can wait another day.

I dread The Husband's First Drill Weekend in March.  This is gonna be really interesting.

I'm not sure Kiddo isn't going to freak out a bit.

Extra hands...

Since April of last year, I have been busting my tail trying to keep everything in some sort of order...

Dinner, dishes, laundry, Kiddo...feed The Dog, feed The Cat before she claws the front door to shreds because her 16 pound self cannot wait five seconds longer to be fed...can you tell The Cat and I are not getting along all that well?

In there I had homework, studying, bills...errands.

It was a hell of a lot easier when I wasn't working...

Then I started working and wondered what in the hell was I thinking?  Nothing got done...I was spinning!

BUT, I now have a Great Husband 2000 that does laundry, dishes, keeps up with The Dog (The Cat is still a bit of an issue but that's mostly HER problem), took The Dog to the vet twice, prepares most dinners, jump starts my car when I have left the dome light on for three days, called AT&T and reupped our minutes so that we can share now, handled a Pediatrician appointment, one car repair is looming, and he occupies Kiddo while I study....

It's so nice to have him home.

I will honestly say, he's doing great...once he got all of the running around to stores thing out of his system after the first week. 

I hit a wall the second week.

Wives who have their husbands gone for long stretches of time will understand this comparison.  He was pissing in my litterbox and I was getting very territorial.

I was getting aggravated at everything.  The phone ringing, his piles of Army Throw Up all over the house and upstairs.  The extra laundry (that he was doing by the way).  I was not used to having another adult in the house with an actual opinion.    I wanted to pick a fight.

Nothing is more annoying than being undermined by a Husband that has Deployment Guilt and is spoiling Kiddo incessantly.  I had to step away...and then talk about it later to him.  There were other things involved, and I had to hike up my skirts and get over the wall...after I kicked it a few minutes.

So Momma had to take a deep breath and lighten up a bit. 

So far, things are going smoothly and we are looking at week four of him being home soon.  At this point last time we had had more than a few head banging moments...he'd went for a few drives, I had went for a few drives, we'd yelled.

Not so much this go round.

Yay.

It's going to be harder when he goes back to work in another month, but we will rock it out.

PS...Funny story.  Brought The Husband home from the Airport.  Settled in and hid from The Neighbors.  Went to bed.  I woke up at 3a...very disoriented and confused.  My heart was pounding...I was quite frightened.  There was someone in the bed with me...oh gawd there is someone in the bed with me!  I start to ease myself out of the bed so as not to wake The Freak...wondering why in the world someone was in the bed with me.   I had plotted in my head how to get me and Kiddo out of the house without being heard.  I had completely sat up, and was getting ready to slide on off the mattress when I realized... "Oh hell...It's The Husband!" 

Guess what I picked up?

Nuff Said

:)