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Married to GI Joe, and the Mother to GI Joe Jr (whom is currently addicted to the Wonderful World of Superheroes), I'm a WV Hillbilly plunked down in a subdivision. I have a backyard garden, crazy neighbors, and a goofy dog that we love on Tuesdays. We love to travel and explore new things, so feel free to browse our life. Sometimes it is exciting, most of the time it is just life. But we are having a good time at it.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Ohhhhh....just go suck a candy cane...

The Holidays seem to bring out the jolly in some people.

The rude and impatient in the rest of the people.

I ran into Mrs. Rude and Mr. Impatient with their child Unhappy today while waiting in line for pictures with Santa.

You see, we go to the same Santa every year.

Yes, it requires an hour drive north to the mall that he works at.

I have a photo of The Toddler with this Santa for every Christmas he's been here.

For his first one, he was only four months old...and quite adorable.  Santa cuddled him right up, The Infant gave us a surprised expression, and we were done.

The second year, The Husband and I had to get in the picture too.  He was having it no other way.

Last year...The Toddler was not cooperating AT ALL.  NONE OF IT.  We tried every trick known to man to get him to smile.  My pic is of him with his head thrown back, Santa looking at him like he had lost his mind, and my son is NOT AMUSED.  It's hilarious...and I bought it anyway.

I was really stressed about this years photo.  Was he going to cooperate?  Was he going to pull a Toddler Tantrum?  Were we going to walk out with yet another FAIL of a picture?

If we did, it was still going to go in the photo album anyway...cause dang it...he's gonna see it when he is sixteen.

So we arrive.  Santa opens at 12p.  It's 11:55a.

It's raining.

There is a line outside the storefront that he is going to be at this year.  Under and awning of course.

We are number 4.

Behind us, in a matter of seconds, we go to number 18.

And all, but one infant girl, are boys....very active boys.  Not kidding.  It was like all the parents of boys decided to do this RIGHT NOW.

We get inside...Santa makes his big arrival...does a few magic tricks, then settles back in his big ol' chair and receives his first customers.

My son watches with wide eyed wonder. 

It also didn't hurt that Santa pulled Rudolph's nose out of my husband's ear either.

I smile at other people's children sitting on Santa's lap.  Everyone is dressed in their sweaters and corduroy pants.  My son has on the jeans that he despises because I refused to have his picture done with him in sweatpants, clean socks, clean underwear, and his brand new Lightning McQueen shirt...there was no getting him in a sweater, tie, or dress shirt.  I tried.  He's lucky he's not in his pajamas.

Number One finishes, they take the picture.  The Elf checks out Number One's parents while Santa receives Number Two, and talks to them during the lull.

Mrs. Rude (who was Number Seven by the way) starting getting antsy.  I guess her son, Unhappy, was not amused at having to wait his turn.

She asks my number...I told her Number Four. 

She huffs.

Then she paces...stepping around the photographer, around us, in front of us...etc.

Unhappy is whining.  My thought...Child...you're a little too old and too big to be whining about waiting.  Suck it up.

The Toddler watches the proceedings while being held by The Husband so that he can warm up the whole Santa thing.  

I'm glaring at Mrs. Rude...who has now been joined by her husband Mr. Impatient.

Now they want to know why more people aren't working? 

What is taking so long?

How much longer are they going to have to wait?

Why isn't there something for the kids to DOOOOO while they are waiting?

Blah blah blah blah.

I tuned her out...seriously woman...go suck a candy cane or something and just shut up.   Each child is getting about a full minute to two minutes with Santa before the picture is done.  Your precious Unhappy child is going to get his time.  Chill.

Number Three let out a wail of epic proportions.  I had to laugh.  Been there, and done that.

Then it was our turn....

I will admit.  I have a Santa phobia.  Hated him as a child, and own no Santa decorations, gift wrap, cards, ornaments...nothing.  But I do adore this Santa.   He probably is pretty cool to hang out with and have a beer or two.  He is retired Air Force, and I thought that was hysterical when I found that out.  You see...I chat with people.  And the first year I took The Toddler to see Santa, The Husband was in Iraq and we had a few moments to chat while waiting on the pictures to print.  No one else was in line...he's a nice guy.

I got a little choked up watching The Toddler walk up to that big chair.

The Toddler was escorted to Santa by The Husband, along with Flump, his stuffed elephant.  He sat nicely on Santa's lap, and listened to Santa tell him to be good and listen to his parents this year. 

And Santa did a magic trick for him...and he giggled...full out laugh.

And we got the picture!  Hot Damn!  Whooot!

And Mrs. Rude just huffed and continued to pace behind me while I checked out and collected my purchase.  And we strolled out with a thrilled Toddler and beautiful Holiday Photo.

I wish I had had a candy cane to hand her...secretly, deep down inside...I am still hoping her kid flipped out and she didn't get a good photo.

But I'm sure they made sure they tied up that line long enough for Unhappy to list off all of his wants and needs...and then complained all the way home because of the wait.  Well duh folks...it's DECEMBER 12th.  If you hadn't noticed...Santa's not around for much longer.  What did you expect?

Happy Holidays to all!

Drop a Toy in Toys for Tots!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It's true! Some are jolly and some are U.G.L.Y. - you ain't got no alibi! It's really crazy how people get this time of year.

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