Couldn't Help Myself

My garden is doing exceptionally well.

We started out with this...



Early spring.  The onions are left over from last year as is the lettuce, parsley and chives.



I had some help:



Nothing like a good watering!



And then we ended up with this:

And now.....



First Tomato Picking.  Took to work for them to help me eat them!

Then a few days passed....



Second Picking.  I didn't know I had a cucumber already.  My tomato vines have taken over.



And ....

Third picking...this morning.  All those tomatoes in less than a week!

And some other surprises!



My onions have been planted since early spring 2010.  I now have onions with heads!


So of course...

We get Salsa!  The only things I had to buy were the lime and cilantro.  My cilantro didn't make it through the winter.

And then...

I LOVE SUMMER!!





Hitting a Wall

I've hit the Wall today.

I am desperately missing The Husband.

The next bunch of months feel incredibly stupidly stupid stupid long.  Like forever long.  I want him home.

Toddler Tween will officially be a Preschooler in a few weeks and starting a New Big Boy School.  OH MY GOD...I'll be dropping him off at a new school...and learning that all over again.  New kids, new teachers, new gossip...blah blah blah.

I've quit my job and will be starting over from square one.  Shit.  And feeling totally irresponsible for it.  Who does that?  Who quits a perfectly good job with a good salary?  Me.  That's who.  Me who is so burned out that I am counting down the days and deep in my heart I cannot wait to leave my broken ass desk chair behind for the poor soul that will inherit it.  I will miss my coworkers, but I am just DONE.

This summer has been STUPID HOT.

STUPID STUPID HOT.

So hot I can't get outside to accomplish anything.  It's just HOT.

I'm obsessing over things.

One...obsessing about my new career.  Not much I can do about that except bust my ass in class and do well.

Two...apparently the UPS truck that makes deliveries to my house has an oil leak.  I have come to that conclusion because of the number of oil spots in my driveway that do not belong to either of our vehicles (I've done the white towel under the car test for three days to make sure).  I cannot seem to accept the fact that the oil spots are NOT where I park. 

I repeat they are NOT WHERE I PARK.

Again...I'm spinning...so I am going to lock down on something.

And right now, it's tracking down oil stains on my driveway.

Which is awesome.

And annoying.

I need a pedicure...but have no time.

Nor do I have a sitter.  The saga on that continues.

*sigh*

I'm in trouble

I know in twenty some odd years, I am going to be getting The Call. (If we even have phones at that point...I might get a 'b-mail' from her...short for brain mail.)

This Call will come from my Future Daughter in Law.

It'll be about the fact that my son, while relaxing or trying to go to sleep, will proceed to entangle his fingers in her hair and wind and wind and wind and wind and wind...and scrunch, and stroke.

Why in the world does he do this?  I have no idea.

He's been doing it since he was old enough to grab.

And when I inadvertantly cut my hair super short without consulting him when he was about a year old, his world ended...but he still managed to reach up higher on my head and make it work for him.

He reaches for my hair when I am buckling him in his carseat.

He reaches for my hair when I am helping him get dressed.

He reaches for my hair when he is in Time Out and I am kneeling in front of his chair talking to him.

Maybe he will outgrow it, maybe not.

It's adorable.

She's probably gonna be unamused. 

Haha.

Dear Disney...in regards to Winnie The Pooh...

Thank you...

Thank you...

Thank you!

Not only did my child giggle, laugh and squeal at this movie...I did too.

I laughed hard at your 'Knot' scene and the movie was just pure classic Winnie The Pooh.

THANK YOU.

I did not have to leave the theatre explaining why some characters were so Mean.

Or why they kept saying KILL.

Or try to explain what DEAD was.

We thoroughly enjoyed our outing with two other little friends and their parents...and there were no awkward moments.

It was AWESOME! 

Thank you.

Now why did I buy that?

At Target on Friday night to get the rest of the stuff for The Husband's Care Package.

Target is having their semi-annual Toy Clearance.

I'm browsing...and come across this Sand/Water table...for $15.

Awesome.  That'd be cool...his sandbox is a swamp right now until I get it cleaned out, and he loves the water table at school.

In my head I am envisioning all the fun that he will have...while I sit on the deck and drink a cold beverage.

Bought it...took it home, put it together...put a little sand in...

He's playing...I'm grilling...

Then I hear...'Mom...my sand is wet!'

I check things out...yes, the sand is wet...

'Mom...my water is dirty!'

I check things out again...yes, the water is full of sand.

This is what happens when you DUMP sand in the pond.

'Mom...the tracks have sand on them!'

Uh huh.

Crap...this is not going the way I thought it would.

I never thought he would keep the sand and water separate.  That's the fun of it...right?

Nope.

Not to my kid.

He gets bored...starts playing around with other stuff...deck chairs, etc.

So I have a lovely mess to clean up at some point today.

I'm going with the 'Farm Got Flooded' scenerio.

I'm dumping the sand.  Strictly water table only.

Mommy Moment

Today...Toddler Tween and I got a pile of errands done...

Recycling hauled off to the bins (we are rural and the service doesn't pick up recycling)...Check.

Gas in the car...Check.

Package mailed off to The Husband...Check.

Haircut for the Toddler Tween...Check.

Lunch at Mongolian BBQ Place that I won't bother with again...Check.

Bag of Play Sand in the trunk of my car...Check.

Miserable failure at Grocery Store when trying to buy his refrigerated Rice Milk...again.  Really...this is a natural foods/alternative foods store and you don't have refrigerated Rice Milk?   But hey, if we were into Coconut Milk or Hemp Milk, or Potato Milk...they have it.  *sigh*

And a big ass chewing for Idiot Sales Associate at Office Depot when he laughed at me in the store...Check.

BIG CHECK.

Dude was so lucky that I didn't snap my fingers and park his tail in time out right there in the aisle.

He was like 18 years old...I'm old enough to be his mother honestly.

And when he approached me in the printer aisle...and asked if I was looking for something...then he should have expected some sort of answer...because I was looking!  HELLO!

"A basic cheap printer...you know...like the Brother kind" apparently was a Hoot to him.

So he proceeds to laugh hysterically, bend over and slap his leg, and then clap his hands....all the while saying 'Basic printer!  hahahahah!  Basic printer!  Hahahahahaha!'

I raised an eybrow...and waited.

I waited until he sucked in a breath and said "Are you done?"

To which he looked at me...and then I let it roll.

All in that quiet 'you are in deep trouble Young Man' tone that Mommies seem to get when their children are born.

*I am not an idiot.  I work in a Broadcast Group office dealing with multiple pieces of technology a day and can make some systems dance for me.

*I was looking for a cheap printer to ship...not a home office type. (They were in the next aisle over)

*YOUR lack of professionalism and class are severely lacking.

*YOU embarrassed me.

*YOU lost a lot of business because I was going to add a pretty impressive laser printer/scanner/fax to the pile today, but since YOU found my request for a $30 Brother so hysterical, I would take my business elsewhere.

*And by the way, if I could park YOU in Time Out for that little act you just did...I would.

*Where is YOUR manager?

At that point, there was so much blubbering and backpedaling, he was almost spitting...and his coworkers were listening in...hard.

And I told his manager what he did.

She was not amused.

Toddler Tween and I left.

And I feel a little better for it. 

He just got his first professional Ass Chewing.

Contact

The Husband is officially Over There...and has been mad as a hornet about his internet hookup and communications.

He couldn't be patient and just talk to some people about what they were doing...because he HAS to talk to us everyday.  He just HAS to...he won't accept it otherwise.

I should be really happy...that kind of Husband is few and far between.

But I had to keep hearing him WHINE and BICKER about the lines to use the few phones that call to the States through military bases...and then WHINE and BICKER some more.   And of course 'he can do better'.

But he got wired up (I told him he just needed to find the internet guy...duh) ...and we Skyped for the first time last night.

And Toddler Tween proceeded to show The Husband all of his toys...

Even though The Husband couldn't really see them...since Toddler Tween was showing them to the face on the monitor and wasn't really in the view of the webcam...but close enough.

And they talked...and laughed...and I saw The Husband tear up a little...cause this has GOT to suck for him.

It sucks for us...but at least we are at home, not sleeping in a literally storage container in the middle of nothing.

But the end of the conversation, Toddler Tween was getting bored...so I told him 'tell Daddy night night'.

And being the sweet nearly four year old that he is...he walked over and hugged the laptop monitor and then gave The Husband and huge kiss...right on the screen!

It was awesome...and oh so sad...

*sigh*

I miss him...this week has been emotionally pretty rough. 

Between my follow up visit with the surgeon (the lump is smaller and I have to go have a follow up mammogram), and ending up at the Kids Urgent Care with a child that had a 'corneal abrasion' from a fellow classmate, to having to listen to my boss and another co worker talk about the people they are considering for my job...I'm just a mess.  Plus I am having real anxiety issues about going back to school, finding another job...etc.

As my Therapist put it...this isn't 'normal' life and all of my resources are currently in use with really no back up resources to put into play.  I'm having to use everything in my aresenal to get day to day tasks accomplished, and I don't even realize it.   She's going to try the Rapid Eye Movement Therapy on me next visit to see if we can unlock some of this anxiety.
I'm even sleeping walking...which is FREAKING fantastic.  Haven't done that in years.  Two nights waking up in the middle of the living room kinda said 'hey chickie...get a freaking grip'.

But I am rolling with the punches...and putting on my game face.

Cause that's how I roll...

Or back peddle...or whatever...

Guess what kind of birthday party we are planning?

Have you figured it out yet?

Cause I have a feeling it might change...but the invites are bought, and filled out because I can't stand to have cards or a day planner that is blank.

As of last night, he wanted a Jungle/Farm/Pirate party.

So today, during our trip to the Party Store, he decided on Pirates.

Thank goodness...because he was lingering around Spongebob for a bit too long. 

I don't like Spongebob...and I think he understood that when I shuffled him down the aisle.

I'm wanting to have them in the kids boxes at the end of the week so that they have a  month heads up since the party is scheduled the weekend before Labor Day.

I have a feeling a few won't be able to make it since I scheduled it on Sunday.  When I booked it a month ago, the Saturday times that were available were all late evening.

Not gonna work for three and four year olds.

So I opted for Sunday.

We're not exactly Church Going folks...and most of our friends are not either.

If they are, that's fine.  I just want them to know in advance this is on SUNDAY.

I even wrote SUNDAY AUGUST 21 on the invitation.

Along with instructions to bring a towel and change of clothes since it is an outdoor splash party with sprinklers and water games.

I don't want anyone surprised.

But there always will be.   Because people don't read....or listen.

Like last year when I wrote PLEASE BRING SOCKS on the invites for the indoor moonbounce place.

Two sets of people showed up and looked dumb at the door and had to buy socks for their family.

I'll be lucky if everyone RSVP's. 

Nothing like having no idea who is and who isn't coming...

Wish me luck!

Are you fricking kidding me?

Toddler Tween goes to bed at about 11p last night. 

At 515a the phone rings.

It's The Husband.

He wants to talk.

Apparently there has been a rumor circulating that they will be home prior to the New Year.

I sat straight up in bed...

WHAT THE FRICK?  (I'm really working on my cussing)

On one hand...I'm elated.  YAY!

But on the other hand and both my feet, and the top of my head...my world has come crashing down around my ears.

I've quit my job.

I've enrolled in school.

We had planned on his Deployment Income to cover us comfortably while I was in school.

I've changed up daycares.

He has been gone from home since the end of March...OMG...you have got to be KIDDING ME!

You've put this family through this fast paced call up...training...run here run there...put our lives on hold, and now he's not going to complete the year as previously scheduled?

WHAT THE FRICK!

Seriously...there is no way to describe how angry I am over this.  I'm a firm believer that if you are going to do it....do it right.

We've all mentally planned for a Year...to yank that second half of the rug out from under you is quite a shock.

Damn it.

Yank these men and women away from their families...and their civilian lives...at least make it fricking worth it!

He feels the same way.  All of this, for a few months Over There...and then Home.

The heartbreak...the stress...geez.

Holy Hell.

So after I cry on the phone to him...cause you know I QUIT MY JOB...and try to explain that I am happy he might come home early but this is hard to process...he gets it...he really does.

I scramble into the kitchen, grab my notebook and calculator and start crunching numbers.

SHIT.

I was NOT planning on his civilian income (which is half of his deployment income) to get us through me going to school and finding a job.

We can do it...but it is going to be super dooper tight.  Like when we first got married and my budget for laundry every week at the laundromat was only $10.    No more.   Super dooper tight budget.

And I am going to be saving every penny I can like some crazy mad woman.

But they won't know for sure for a few weeks...but he wanted me to hear the rumor from Him and not Another Wife.

Rumors are just that...rumors. 

But shit shit shit shit shit.  I don't know if he will be coming home six months early or not...I don't have much time here.   I have eight weeks before I start school.  Someone better cough up some information!

I went ahead and applied for a pile of jobs on the nearest military post this morning, and will submit applications to local big box businesses.  IF they pick me up, for a decent salary, and decent hours...I will probably just forego going back to school until next fall when I can take it as a night course through the local high school adult education program.

SHIT.

And you want to take care of my kid...uhm....

Today was the day that I ventured forth to find a new daycare.

I LOVE the daycare that my son is currently in. So much, that I will drive an hour, to drop him off, drive back home to handle whatever household thing that needs handled (plumbing, new back door, new flooring, etc) while he is happily hanging out at the most Awesome Daycare Ever.

Finding a new Daycare proved to be rather exhausting.

One...The Awesome Daycare really sets a high bar.  I knew no one would meet that bar.  Ever.  They just can't.

Two...I really hate doing this, because there are so many factors to be weighed.

First daycare...national chain...decent location.  Director was really nice.  Building set up nicely. 
Big ass playground.
Big class room.
Then I met his future teacher.
I don't like you.
At all.
You're hateful to that one little boy the class.  I know he is getting on your nerves, but if you are talking like that in front of me at 9am, I can't imagine what the rest of your day is going to be like.
Warm fuzzy nor friendly are you.
Have dealt with your type before, really don't want to deal with you again.
You lost it for Daycare Possibility #1.

Second daycare...I arrive right smack dab in the middle of them attempting to get a group of kids out the door on a Field Trip. 
The director hasn't arrived yet as I am early.
The assistant director tries to show me around, but she is also dealing with a pack of four year olds outside playing in the sprinklers and water tables.
It was not a good start.
So I pulled up a chair and chatted with a few of the assistants, and one little girl that decided to be Ambassador for the day.
The director showed up, she was awesome and showed me around the facility.
Nice, small, clean, and focused on fun.
Reasonable price.
I have to pack his lunch everyday, but I kind of like that so that I have some better control over what he eats...
Kids that seemed to really like their teachers.
Teachers that were pleasant and fun.
Cool.

Third daycare...I had REALLY high hopes for this daycare. 
It looked like it was set up like my current daycare.
Big fancy website.
Their inspections record was pretty good.
I arrived.
Wasn't sure I was in the right place and there really wasn't a sign.
Rang the bell.
A woman answered the door and looked confused.
I was in the right spot, she just didn't know what to do with me.
Awesome.
She slaps together a packet and stands there.
I inform her I would like to look around.
She sighs.
Awesomer.
She leads me back to the four year old room.  Which is very spacious.  There are actually two class rooms, and they move back and forth between them.
Which is cool...more space.  Like lots of SPACE...
One teacher is there...with like 20 kids.
Awesomest.
No assistants...no other staff that I can see or hear.
This is not really looking all that great.
Other than the big fancy murals on the wall...I'm just not amused.
The menu is crap food.  Really...cheese balls are not a snack...ever.
She was a super nice lady, and I am sure she's a great teacher. 
I just felt really weird there... I mean really weird.
Like the hair was standing up on the back of my neck weird.
I exited.
Quickly.

Bought my school uniforms and pondered the decision.

And pondered.

And texted my BFF.

And pondered some more...

Picked up Toddler Tween and took him back to the Daycare #2...let him play with the other kids.

Dropped off my paperwork and registration check with the director.

He's set.

Whew.

And I had to physically remove him from the classroom so that we could go home.

He wants to go back.

Cool.

Making plans

I must be honest when I say I am having an all out anxiety attack over my New Life Plans.

I am quitting a job that I have now been employed at for TEN years...today was my 10 Year Anniversary by the way.  I nearly cried all day.  It's just really weird to hear your own Boss talk about your Replacement to another Co Worker.

Really weird.

And I cleaned out  my desk while I had some time to do it today.  The box is in the trunk of my car. 

Bummer.

I am going to school for a certification that I hope will land me a job making a semi decent salary.  I am really only looking for $12-$14 an hour...nothing extravagant.    I mean really.  I have lots of office experience.  I'm professional.  I'm friendly.  Who wouldn't want me?

I hope someone wants me.

I need to be Wanted.

I am hoping for a job closer to Home...with decent hours.

I am moving my Kid out of a Really Nice Daycare/Preschool and into a New Daycare/Preschool.

I have toured one daycare.  I was not impressed.

I have appointments with three others tomorrow.  Possibly a fourth, if the other three do not impress me.

I am hoping to be Impressed.

I need to be Really Impressed.

I have also decided to throw my Voice into the ring and hope to land some voice over jobs and make a little extra dough on the side.  One of my co workers is going to fix up a MP3 file for me to submit to a few local agencies.  I've been doing them for fifteen years for whatever station I have been currently working for.  So I guess that means I have some experience.

And I worked in Radio for a long time.

I am hopeful.

I am scared witless.

I think I have lost my bloody mind.

Actually...I KNOW I have lost my bloody mind.

Who in their right mind would do this?  Leave a job with a good salary, good benefits, and a great company that doesn't give you crap about doctors appointments or personal issues? 

Other than the Helluva Commute and the issue with Toddler Tween going to school in a few years...and the fact that I am Burned Out...I guess no one.

I'm nuts.

Oh yeah...and The Husband is officially Over There.

A phone call from an Ireland Airport is about $55 and from Germany around $75.   $35 connection charge and about $10 a minute.  International Phone Cards Suck.

It is what it is .

Scary.

Dear Pixar...in Regards to Cars 2...

Dear Pixar

What can I say?   You’ve opened up a whole new discussion at our house about how it isn’t nice to talk about killing someone or wanting them dead.

But that’s exactly what’s happened since we saw Cars 2.

Imagine our surprise, in the first ten minutes, there was a whole major shoot out/blow em up/chase scene…and a crushed (dead) car.

Awesome.

Thank goodness those things went over our three year old’s head as he sat perched in his theater seat clutching his beloved Mater and McQueen in his little hands.

Thank you for some really funny Mater moments.

But no thank you to the shoot em up/over the top violence/James Bond knock off/not really small kid friendly movie.

Oh yeah...and the story was stupid hard to follow. 

The original Cars will always be a favorite of mine, because there is NOTHING in that movie that I have to skip.  No one dies, no one disappears, no violence.

But Cars 2…alas…I’m not sure what to do with that movie.

It’s sad really.

To introduce terrorism and violence like that, via animation, to little kids that love Mater and McQueen.

Thanks…a lot.

PS...By the way.  Kiddo doesn't want to go back and see it again.  And isn't interested in any of the new characters except Finn McMissile. 

So there.

Fairness

Toddler Tween and I travelled to The Husband's Mobilization area this past weekend to visit with him during his three day Pass.

Toddler Tween did super on the flights out.  He did awesome when we got the rental car and I had to install the stupid car seat that I had dragged from our home.  Tip:  If you are travelling alone, just rent the stupid car seat from the car rental company.  Its a pain to drag around on the dolly in the airport.  It was HIGHLY convenient to schlep him from gate to gate in a speedy non-distracted Mommy Look At This way....but OMG...it was getting old and  I was tired of sweating.  I'm not sure if there is an easy way to do it.

We had a great hotel.

And I got to witness my child shrieking with delight and running break neck down the sidewalk to the arms of The Husband.

That was effing awesome.

We had a wonderful weekend. 

Cars 2 at the local movie theatre.  Toddler Tweens very first movie.  And we got to do it as a family.  Another 'First' that The Husband didn't miss... Whew.

By the way, that movie is a little violent.  Crushing and killing a car in the first ten minutes.   Yeah, that kind of set the tone for the animated shoot em up spy movie.  Toddler Tween loved it...so that was the main goal.  But the Husband and I were a little surprised.

The town we were in featured a small zoo...so we trekked there and spent a few hours.

The hotel had an awesome pool, and Toddler Tween and The Husband spent A LOT of time in the shallow end.

And we just chilled.

When Sunday rolled around, and I had to get The Husband back to Post, and me and Toddler Tween had to fly again...it hit me.  With that 'I didn't do my homework' dread of going back to school.

I had to drop The Husband off and go home...and my heart sank.

And...

The Army smells like Palmolive dish soap.

Not kidding.

To anyone that has ever had to stay in military housing knows what I am talking about.  They have Palmolive dish soap in the kitchens...and that smell just smells like Army to me.

It means we are on some sort of Duty trip, or meeting with The Husband at a hotel with a small kitchen.

Guess that is why I won't buy it...because it just means Army to me anymore.  It's kind of a 'dread' smell. 

And it isn't fair that after we dropped off The Husband, and I am sobbing hysterically driving off Post, that my small child informs me...

"Don't be sad Mom.  I'll be here for you.  I will always he here.  I am not going away"

Which meant I had to pull over, gather myself and then get us to the airport.

My sweet child.

That then proceeded to let it all loose in the TSA security line at the airport.   Proceeded to throw himself down on his stomach in the checkpoint while screaming for his Stuffed Elephant (Flump) and his shoes.  Shrieked like a banshee when I gave him Flump back.  Threw even more of a fit during my personal screening by the TSA employee because they didn't understand their own policy on liquids for children under the age of 5. 

Damn it people...I can bring his three juice boxes.  Frisk me...move on.  Read your own policy.  Let's go.

But my angel returned when we had to run across the tarmac at the next airport because we had to sit on the runway for nearly forty minutes waiting on a plane to leave our gate...

And he listened...and was so good.

He's my Little Man...

Here's to a year...of whatever....