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Married to GI Joe, and the Mother to GI Joe Jr (whom is currently addicted to the Wonderful World of Superheroes), I'm a WV Hillbilly plunked down in a subdivision. I have a backyard garden, crazy neighbors, and a goofy dog that we love on Tuesdays. We love to travel and explore new things, so feel free to browse our life. Sometimes it is exciting, most of the time it is just life. But we are having a good time at it.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

What is a Derecho?

Last Friday...this Wall of Terror came roaring from the Great Lakes to pretty much terrorize 600 miles of people that had no idea it was coming.

It was called a Derecho. Please feel free to Google.

Basically it's Wall of Terror, combining high winds, hail, heavy rain, unbelievable lightning...and did I mention Wind?

I saw said Derecho on my Facebook from my Wxrisk guy.

Hmmmmm...I said.  As I am sipping my iced lemonade on the back deck...Tiki torches blazing, watching Kiddo play in the pool...sweating but not too badly.  Hmmmm...  What the Fuck is That?

Big line of RED roaring down upon my parents.

So I called said parents.

Said parents are headed up the mountain to a catfish tournament (big deal in Hillbillyville).

I told said parents to get their asses home...

Said parents scoffed and said they were going to get their beans (bowl of brown beans and cornbread), then they'd head home.

This is the same parents that call me everytime it looks like it 'might' snow a bit.  And panics when we are under a tornado watch.  My Mother will literally text me constantly to ask if I am Ok...'look to the skies'...etc.

Again...I tell said parents to get their asses home.  They had about thirty minutes.

Said parents say Ok...I don't believe them.

I showed The Husband the radar.  The Husband frowns...we both hope it fizzles once it hits the Blue Ridge. 

I call said parents a half an hour later.  I've been watching the Radar, and my Facebook is now full of up to the second weather/power outage/trees down/carnage reports in the area.

Said parents can't get home.  They sought shelter at a former classmate's house and are hanging out in his basement while the winds roar.

I told you so.

I watch the Radar...

And I realize...Shit...this shit isn't fizzling out...it seems to be getting stronger.

We should be ok...really...no alerts up for here yet.

Take Kiddo up to bed...read some more reports of weather/power outages/trees down/carnage from back home.

Watch Radar....we should be Ok...I think.

Get ready for bed...grab a shower...find a flashlight...take dog out.

Shit.

From the back deck you can see the strobe lights flashing. 

Only it isn't strobe lights...its lightning.

Something wicked this way comes....and we are screwed.

We have one lantern that works...the flashlight is questionable.

We'll be Ok.

Climb into bed...turn on the TV.

And the power goes out.

SHIT.

Flashbacks of Hurrican Irene roll through my mind as The Husband and I wait for our eyes to adjust to the dark...and as The Dog immediately starts pacing like a maniac...

Then we tried to find the flashlight and lantern I had set out...

Yeah...that was fun...along with stepping on various Avengers in the process.

Why do we have to have this kind of storm...I am so not prepared.

At least I could see that one coming for crying out loud.  I didn't have time to shop, or anything in preparation.  I'm just standing here...watching my trees bend and the lightning flash...

The Parents call...they are home...had to wait on folks to clear the road of the fallen trees.  They have no power and as my mother put it 'it looks like a bomb went off'.

Goodie.

I didn't tell them we didn't have any juice, nor that the sky looked like a strobe light.  No need to add to their present situation.

I stand on the back deck and press down the urge to panic. 

Then our crazy backyard neighbors start acting weird.

The wind is HOWLING...the strobe lights are keeping it so lit I can watch everything...

And they are out in there in the backyard with flashlights waving them around like lightsabers.

Surely a tree didn't go through their house...I didn't hear anything.

What the fuck are they doing....

And the rain drives them inside.

Kiddo wakes up...

We realize this is not going to be good.

And we wait...and I pace...and I pace...Kiddo is asleep in the middle of our bed...the wind is screaming...

I'm standing stock still in the dining room staring out the back door.  Listening to random things thunk against the house.

I watch the radar but I don't have much battery left on my phone...

The Husband's phone is Dead.  Of course.

Suddenly...poof...it's done.

A few more strobe lights...and its black outside...and still.

Too still.

This is weird....really weird.

We access we have no damage...and see other neighbors flashlights blinking in the darkness. 

Crap....its like 110 degrees outside during the day...this is NOT going to be good...at all...ever.

So we go to bed...all three of us in one bed...on top of the covers...and The Dog laying in the floor. 

It's silent...and you can hear each of us breathing...and The Dog is nervous.

He hates the dark...so he's panting...

And Slurping.

And Smacking his Big Boxer Lips.

And Slurping.

Pant...Pant....Pant...

Slurp...Smack...Schlurrrrp...Pant Pant Pant.

Holy Fuck Dog...

I fuss at him....

The Husband fusses at him...

I grabbed the flashlight and stumbled into the dark kitchen to find his Stash of Doggie Valium.

A piece of Cheese and a Xanax later (for the dog)...we settle for the night.  It's about 1am.

530a...the Fucking alarm goes off.

You're kidding me right? 

Someone...not saying who...didn't turn HIS battery alarm off for HIS shooting tournament this morning.

It's daylight outside...it's gonna get Real Hot soon.

After letting Doped Dog out...and seeing that the neighbors only have a few small limbs down...we converse as Kiddo sleeps.

We have three options:

1)  Ride this out with a Generator and a Box Fan.

2)  Close up the House, take The Dog to the Kennel and go somewhere for the weekend and run the Credit Card up a bit.

3)  Close up the House, take The Dog to the Kennel, say Fuck It and visit the Inlaws.

We debate...I check our stash of food in the fridge and freezer.  Other than about ten pounds of chicken breasts, there really isn't any thing that's worth a gazillion dollars of gas and lots of sweating.

So we Close up the House...take the Dog to the Kennel (where he has a back up generator system for the dogs) and we drive to Visit the Inlaws.

Five hours later...we pull into the Inlaws driveway.

It's a Gazillion Degrees outside...

The Husband's freshly charged cell phone rings...

It's our Neighbor.

We got our Power Back!

Of course...that's how it always works.

We were crazy lucky...I mean super dooper Crazy Lucky!

Dear Derecho...I don't need a repeat...Thanks!

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

oh my goodness!! That sounds crazy! And of course your power comes back when you get there!

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