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Married to GI Joe, and the Mother to GI Joe Jr (whom is currently addicted to the Wonderful World of Superheroes), I'm a WV Hillbilly plunked down in a subdivision. I have a backyard garden, crazy neighbors, and a goofy dog that we love on Tuesdays. We love to travel and explore new things, so feel free to browse our life. Sometimes it is exciting, most of the time it is just life. But we are having a good time at it.

Friday, June 10, 2011

To my younger self

Dear Younger Self

Thank your parents for doing all that they do for you.  As broke as they are, they are involved and love you very much.    And they will be there for you when you need them most.  Guaranteed.  I promise.

Tell the kids that tease and taunt you in elementary and junior high to bug off.  You are going to eventually get your swan feathers and grow up and away.   Keep your chin up...this too shall pass.

The perms...don't let Mom do them.  Please.

Don't get started drinking six gazillion Mtn Dews a day. Your tail is gonna get huge when you turn 23, and you are going to have issues getting that weight off.

Then once you stop the regular Dew, don't switch to Diet Dew and keep pounding them down.  You'll be visiting the Mammary Smashers a LOT because of it.

Dump Dead Weight early on. He's not going anywhere in life. Honey, he couldn't even pass High School English and YOU want to be a journalist. Give me a break. Walk away, quickly...and change your phone number. Or just don't give him your phone number. It isn't kismet, you are NOT in love, and he's just a mental health case waiting to happen.  I promise this is not going to end well.


Fall in love with The Husband (then the Boyfriend) completely and fully early on.  He's going to be your best friend.  Is not a psycho and is never going to break your heart.  He loves you too.

Wear your sunscreen and get out of the stupid tanning bed.  No one really cares if you are blazing white.  You will have to have moles removed before you are 40...and yearly visits to the Dermotologist.  You are a blonde with fair skin.  Nothing is changing that and you are going to stare at a poster in the Dermatologist's office in about 16 years and cry.

Work hard on the farm.  You will miss it.  Yes....you will.

Have fun.  Let your hair down.  Enjoy life!  You don't have to follow every single rule out there.  Relax a little.  (Older Me needs to take this advice too) 

Study just a little harder in college.  Just a bit.  You miss graduating with honors by .010

About that Degree.  Really.  Rethink it before you start.  I mean, your career is ok, and you are doing really well.  But let me just tell you...you end up painting yourself into a bit of a corner.

Do not eat the shrimp chow mein from the Chinese place near your first job.  Just don't ok? 

Do not buy that Green Grand Am.  Stupid Car.

Do not cut all of your hair off after The Husband gets out of Boot Camp.  You had gorgeous long blonde hair you idiot. 

Chill out about the wedding.  Really.  It's not the wedding...it's the marriage.  Loosen up.

Hire a real photographer for the wedding.  I promise.  Best thing you could do.

Go ahead and flip out on your manager at your first job.  Do it early on.  It will save some hassle and anti anxiety meds if you do.  He's going to get fired for harrassment anyway.  Get him out the door faster. 

Do not stress about the big move.  If you don't do it, you will be stuck in the hills hating each other.  It works out great.

Just drive by that white cape house that you think is so cute, and keep going about 15 minutes north on the interstate. Buy that nice sized tri level that is slightly out of your strict budget. You will thank me for it. I promise. And it really isn't out of your budget. Believe me. Ohhh...believe me.

DO NOT let The Husband buy that stupid black GMC.  Stupid truck.

When the dog is diagnosed with bone cancer...don't prolong it.  Go ahead and let her go.  The end result is just sad whether you do it then, or a few months later.  Let her go.


Go visit your grandmother that Thanksgiving even if you do feel like you have a cold.  You won't see her again.

I would tell you to just say 'not right now' on that certain afternoon after Thanksgiving in 2006...but the surprise is sitting on the couch drinking juice and rubbing that lock of blonde hair while watching Wonder Pets.

Be happy with The Husband when you find out that little blonde is on his way and don't cry for three days.   That's not the best story to tell.  Ever. 

Do not freak out about The Husband making it to The Birth.  That turns into an awesome story and everything turns out just fine.   Except for him leaving a week later to go Over There, but it will be a week you will treasure.

The infant stage will end.  They will not scream forever.  The problem is fixable, you just need to find the right doctor earlier on and stand up for Little Man.  Screaming at the Pediatrician while standing in her office in your pajama pants, flip flops a pull over sweatshirt and wearing your glasses after an all nighter of walking the floors with a screaming baby is a good start.  You will be friends after that and she will get that you are a serious parent.

Go ahead and quit work during Deployment #1.   I'm sure you'll figure something out.   I don't know what, but it is rough.  But the stress will nearly drive you up the wall and over the other side.   It's hard to recover from that year. 

You will pull that entire first year pretty much alone.  It will be ok.  But your parents will be there to back you up.  Even at 2am when you are throwing up your toes, and so is The Infant...and you have to make that phone call because you are pretty sure you are dying.  They will come.   They always do.

GO TO COUNSELING when The Husband comes home from Over There.  This would have saved everyone a lot of door slamming.

Breathe in...breathe out.

Have a glass of wine once in a while, or a beer, and chill.  You can shut your brain down for a few minutes.  The world will not stop turning if you do.

Remember to get a good giggle when you are 36 and the bagger at the grocery store tells you how excited he is to graduate high school.  You MUST inform him that you are exactly twice his age and scare the hell out of him.  :) 

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